Sketched Poetry on Music Sheets

I'm on a roll

2012-02-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

Breakaway

Sometimes, I just want to get away, escape the madness of my world, of the personal society I live in. Actually leave behind all the people that I love and care for in return, and go someplace where no one knows nor care about who I am and what I do.

Just sometimes, for brief moments of time.

*

Some weeks ago to this day, I am unreachable through phone. I do not have one anymore -- it broke. So every time I step out of the house, before I arrive at the company of people I know, in those moments, I feel lost, like I'm wandering away without connection to anyone.

It's one time too many, and too long.

I know it's exactly what I wanted, but I felt like I'm cheating.

(So yeah, I'd like a new phone please, or repair my old, ancient one -- either way's acceptable.)

/ “Eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we'll die.” ― Dave Matthews Band

It was a high time in our lives, if not one of the happiest, but then again, every time we are together we could definitely find reasons to enjoy. At the very least, we poke fun at each other -- and then we'd already be happy. We were that easy to please.

But this time, we were already enough fed, watered, and there was a camera to appease our narcissistic affliction. And even though we are not complete, we were many in number, hence merrier.

There was every reason to celebrate. It was, after all, a reunion of sorts of what I've known as my family. We don't get to see much of each other these days, what with our vastly different schedules-- it was the one of the rare occasions we were collected at the same place, at the same time. We just had to take that opportunity to catch up with each others' lives.

(Actually, we were all hungry, someone suggested we dine together, and we did. End of story.)

/ Consumerism

I've no love for shopping. I don't go trotting at malls for hours, looking for the perfect, little dress. My attention span is shorter than that. On a day I'm patient enough to take a detour to the boutique, I'd still probably buy the very first pretty shirt I'd find. But given it's of reasonable prize, because I hate to part with my money on worthless things.

But whenever I find something pretty, worthy of my money (despite how expensive it might be -_____-) , even when I'm not particularly looking to buy something, I never let go until I have safely paid for it. That's an impulsive buyer for you.

/ Quote

“I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects.” ― Oscar Wilde

I wonder.

Epic

2012-02-03T23:09:00.002+08:00

They were having the epic-most of their life, third night on the road. They almost died when one of the chickens being caged in the truck ahead of theirs in the highway suddenly came flying across their windshield. For a whole minute, their entire car was engulfed in a loud, collective shout. Aaaaaaahhhhhh!!!--

Their entire lives didn't really flash before their eyes. All they could register was the steering wheel being jerked violently to one side and the awful screeching of their tires. They, all four of them, were yelling still, now completely awake despite the lateness of the hour.

It was a miracle that there were no immediate car behind them. It wasn't a holiday, nor a weekend -- thank God. So when they halted, they immediately stepped out of the car, as if scared Death himself would appear between them inside the vehicle.

The air was bitingly cold outside, and it further awakened their senses, not that there was anymore need to. But it helped them register that for now they were out of harm's way. They were all alive. In four whole pieces. Still definitely breathing the sharp air. Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. Whew.

One started to chuckle, then three pair of eyes were on him. Soon the dark night was filled with laughter. They'd just survived certain death, hahahahaha. They were all alive.

But that poor livestock. Whatever happened to that poor little chicken? They were all sorry, but more than that, they were glad they were still alive.

I tried this site for a one-word prompt, and that word happened to be epic. And this was the first scenario that came to mind.

"And in that moment, I swear we were infinite."

2012-01-04T22:42:00.000+08:00

Do you know when beginning a new book you suddenly have the urge to write (I think I mentioned it in another post too)? Well it’s happening now, hence this post.

I just finished reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower. My Secret Santa during the block Christmas Party, who turned out to be Ate Naji, bought me that book (plus watercolor pencils). (Thanks again Ate Naji!) I’d been meaning to ~~download the ebook and~~ read it for the longest time, but I wasn’t looking forward to reading from the computer screen. It strains my eyes badly; I’ve been doing it a long time that now I’m already supposed to wear glasses. (I just don’t because I’m lazy.) Or I could’ve bought an actual copy of the book but I had other things to buy.

So.

It was a good book about coming-of-age, about being socially awkward, about childhood traumas, about living your life, about making decisions, about watching other people grow, about also growing yourself…

The theme is overused, I know. But it doesn’t get old. Because every generation go through all those very same dilemmas. And the execution was something new – although not very original, still it was different. (At first I thought it was difficult sustaining interest with that kind of execution, but it worked.)

Anyway, this is not a book review. I do not plan on making essays on books, like Charlie did. All I wanted was to convince you that it’s a good book and you’re doing yourself a favor by reading it. Actually, I wrote this post to say a temporary goodbye to this blog. My posts will be very sporadic from now on. The book inspired me to start a new blog, an anonymous one. I thought I’d make every post a letter—like Charlie did—but I didn’t want to just copy the book. So, I’m still thinking about how to write my new blog.

I hope it turns out good.

I realized the old title was rubbish. So I changed it.

2011-12-22T17:42:00.000+08:00

There had been a lot of things that had happened during the last 24 hours, thousand things flashed through my head, and along with them a myriad of emotions. Waves of emotions swept through me, not necessarily one after another, but sometimes simultaneously, both unidentifiable and feelings we already have labels for.

I felt lazy (getting up from my very comfortable bed that morning of December 15; going through the motions of my after-waking-up routine; downloading songs ~~illegally~~ off the Internet to add on our travel playlist), panicked (when I realized I can’t find the connector from the laptop to the external hard drive so I can’t burn all those songs I carefully handpicked and laboriously downloaded), resigned (to the fact that I’m only getting later from the call time set for our Christmas party but not at all closer to finding my connector), panicked all over again (when I journeyed to buy coffee, chocolate powder drink, and gift bag all for the Christmas party), lazy again (while we watch Aura and Trixe buy more stuff still for the party), relieved (when we finally arrived at Seigville Resort albeit an hour late), neutral—as in nothing really (while looking at the resort; it wasn’t that fanciful and I wasn’t that much eager to get into the water; I liked dinner, appreciated their efforts at cooking [amazing really that people my age can already cook—or am I the abnormal one?], but I finished rather quickly; took my time on the karaoke; swam a little… whatever), anxious (while the players for the games were being chosen, hoping that my name won’t be called any time soon), batshit scared (of the xxxxx the party organizers – ourselves that is—made for the exchange gift segment), hopeful (I won’t pick one I can’t do), relief (when it turned out quite harmless—or so I thought), confused (when I caught myself talking about things I don’t normally say, let alone, think about), enlightened (I knew I was already xxxxx by then; I knew I had to back off), amused (at seeing other people acting exactly the way I did before I caught myself—at first that is; at some point I grew) annoyed (of all the repetitive nonsense). Maybe I’m also bitter of the fact that they seem to be having loads of mindless fun while I decide to stay xxxxx. But more than that I admired those who were able to control their xxxxxxx and acknowledge their limits.

But it was still fun, on the whole. Honest. Still, it was a learning experience.

(What happens in Pansol stays in Pansol—besides the FB photos, of course, so I omit a few words from the paragraphs. Anyways, it’s not like anyone has actually managed to read through the entire post, so I guess I’m still safe.)

/

During the Lantern Parade, which was five hours after we left Pansol (although that time was not sufficient to get any real sleep), I was alternating between tired and trigger-happy, which I couldn’t explain. The fireworks display was the prettiest I’ve ever seen in my entire life—I was beyond amazed. I thought it was a fitting ending to a very exhausting two days. But it was also the most dangerous I’ve been to; many were injured, including the unfortunate dude watching somewhere close to the place we camped at. I felt lucky in more ways than one.

Christmas wishlist (again)

2011-12-08T19:55:00.001+08:00

Hey, it's Christmas season once again, and here's my wishlist... which will probably turn into something like things-I'll-buy-if-I-don't-get-'em-this-Christmas.

Beanie/ beret.
Bag: Heartstrings; earth colors
Malong. Still earth colors, or pastel.
Unruled Journal Notebook. Small enough to carry everywhere, but not too small that I can't doodle in it.
Jacket / hoodie. Or UP jacket, if you're generous enough.
Watercolor pencils: Faber-Castell
Art stuff like watercolor or acrylic paints, brushes, pencils.
Art books
Something to decorate my room... like a rug or a beanbag or a poster or a lamp or a lantern (must match the color green)
Nendoroid figurines of anime / manga characters I like (for the list of animes / mangas I like, clicketh THIS)
Awesome, cute headphones that sounds great
Books!

Books and authors I like to have, more or less...

The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
Jonathan Safran Foer: Everything Is Illuminated
Leo Tolstoy: War and Peace
Anton Chekhov
Douglas Adams: The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
Anthony Burgess: A Clockwork Orange
Joseph Heller: Catch-22
Truman Capote (Except In Cold Blood)
John Le Carre (Except The Spy Who Came in From the Cold and The Tailor of Panama)
Haruki Murakami (Except After Dark, Dance Dance Dance, After the Quake
Chuck Palanhuick
Yan Martel
J. D. Salinger (Except The Catcher and the Rye, and Nine Stories)

Placeholder

2011-11-30T22:04:00.001+08:00

Let this be a placeholder for the magnificent narrative I'm about to write. I've a temporary glimpse at a spark of genius earlier this afternoon. Daylight does that to me, for some unfathomable reason: I can whip up enlightened thoughts. But I'm a creature of the night; darkness supplies me with energy and hype, but robs me of the ability to think coherently.

Or maybe it's only because I'm distracted by the annoyingly loud TV.

You said mistake a lot

2011-10-27T03:51:00.001+08:00

Medyo magulo ni, sorry.

Arug kani, atchan gusto ko na mag-uli pa-Naga. Mau pa kaming ticket sa train. Sa arug kaning panahon na urulian talaga kang mga nagsesembreak na estudyante tsaka kang mga ma-undas sa mga probinsya ninda, malamang fully booked na ang mga bus tsaka train. Baka lang. May part sako na nago-hope na maaaccommodate pa kaming 3.

Kung tanu mau pa kaming ticket, medyo halabang istorya... Inot, Ok lang sako magtrain, pero kung solo ako, dai ako matrain. Kaso may kaiba ako, gusto nya magtrain, maung problema sako. Araaldaw tigaapudan ko ang number kang PNR (Actually, ang totoo, pagnaaalala ko lang ako naga-apod. Pero sa loag ning 2 weeks, halos mga 5 - 7 days man to). Maung nagsisimbag, sige lang ring. Kang mga panahong to, mau pa sako kung mau pa kaming ticket ta inot, harayu pa man ang sembreak, ikaduwa, dai pa talaga kami sure kung tuloy talaga. Ang inot mi nganing schedule Sunday pa, kaso Tuesday ang huri kong exam, malamang dai pa tuloy. Temporary new sked kang pag-uli: Thursday.

Habang naghahaloy, nagiging mas malabo ang chance na makakauli sya. Ibig sabihin, kaipuhan ko mag-solo. Sa isip ko, maray man dai pa ako nakapareserve sa train ta habu ko man, kung solo lang ako.

Kaso, may biglang nagkaigwang 2 tao na gusto magtrain pauwi. Nagcoincide pa sa date kang plano kong mag-uli talaga, Thursday. Tig-isip ko, why not mag-train? Exciting syempre. Pero tig-iisip ko ngunian, naghapot lang sinda kung panu magpareserve, maung sinabing gusto ninda ko makaiba. Kaso ako man, tigtake ko nalang si opportunity na matrain nga ako, for the first time.

Tuesday yata yun. Sabi ko, Wednesday, itatry ko magpareserve na.

Suugma, Wednesday, pagmata ko, nag-apod tulos ako. Try lang, baka may magsimbag na. May nagsimbag talaga. Inot na beses. Tighapot ko, kung may bakante pa para sa Thursday, ang sabi sako, dai ninda sigurado, ta mau pa si naga-handle kang reservation. Ang sabi sako, mag-apod nalang ning ala una.

Wednesday ning aga, tig-asikaso ko si para sa pagpaproxy kang enrolment/registration. Dai pa ngani tapos ta mau pang pirma kang adviser. Sa Thursday pa, which is ngunian, atchan, pa magkakaigwang adviser sa faculty room.

Nag-arabot classmates ko na ma-celebrate kang pagtapos ning sem. Karaoke + dinner. Na halos free. Isay man ang habung mag-enjoy paminsan, lalo na kakatapos pa lang kang finals… na super extended na ngani sa case mi. Kami nalang nagkaklase (take note: klase, as in lecture, bako lamang final exam), habang ang karamihan, nagbabakasyon na. Detox ang tigaalok ninda. So ako man, why not?

Si reservation huna ko, one phone call away nalang. May landline man ang mobile phone kang classmate ko, kaya why not talaga? (Yan kami, pauwi na.)
Ala una, nag-apod ako, maung nagsisimbag. Alas dos, alas tres… mga alas kwatro, ang sabi sako, mag-apod nalang daa ulit ta busy pa. Alas sinko, alas sais, alas siete… alas ocho, may nagsimbag ulit sa apod ko, ang sabi sako naguli na daa si taga-reserve, mag-apod ulit saaga (Thursday).

Alas nuebe kami natapos magkakan dinner. 10 pm, nasa mrt na kami. 11 nasa harung na ako. Late na masyado, totoo.
-

Mau kaming ticket atchan. Nagkulang ba ako? Siguro eu. Tanu dai ko tigdumanan? Naga-finals kaya kami. Raot nang maray ang body clock ko: banggi ako mata, aga ako turog. Nagluluwas lang akong harung para mag-exam. Pagkatapos kang exam, pagal nakong maray ta mau pang turog. Hilinga, ma-alas kwatro na, dai pa ako makaturog ta dai na ako sanay. Atchan, kaipuhan piriton na dai maglamaw, kung lamaw pa ngani yang maapod.

Dai harani ang tutuban station. Ni dai ko ngani aram kung sain yan. Kapag tungkaun ka, makulug payu mo, mainit ang panahon (ta madalas aga lang ang exam, lunch nag-uuli na), malakbay ka pa daw ning harayuon para magpareserve ning ticket na dai ka man sigurado pang gusto mo?Subago, tanu dai ako nagduman? Ta nagkakaraoke ako. Siguro sala talagang nag-iba ako.
-

Ted: No, it's not an adventure, it's a mistake!

Lily: OK, yes it's a mistake. I know it's a mistake, but there are certain things in life where you know it's a mistake but you don't really know it's a mistake because the only way to really know it's a mistake is to make the mistake and look back and say 'yep, that was a mistake.' So really, the bigger mistake would be to not make the mistake, because then you'd go your whole life not knowing if something is a mistake or not. And dammit, I've made no mistakes! I've done all of this; my life, my relationship, my career, mistake-free. Does any of this make sense to you?

Ted: I dunno, you said mistake a lot.

How I Met Your Mother, S01E21: Milk
-

Si tungkol man sa pag-uli ko ning alas onse. Yun ang rason kung tanu ako nag-iba. Pero eu, sala ko na late nanaman ako mag-uli. Pero kung yaon ka na duman, mauli kang solo hali sa lugar na dai mo aram, sako lang, mas maray na si tiggibo kong tighalat ko sindang late kesa nagsolo ako pauli.

Kung habu ko ning mali, dapat dai nalang ako nag-iba. Kung habu ko ning mali.-

Atchan, adventure nalang. May space pa sa train para samu, paniwalaan yan. Law of Attraction daa.

Only rainbows and butterflies; no compromise

2011-10-24T23:13:00.003+08:00

Tomorrow marks the last exam I'll have to take this semester. I should be rejoicing... but I've already been mildly pissed off from the start that we even have to go to school tomorrow. According to the university calendar, finals week should have ended today. But earlier, we still had a lecture class (which I wasn't able to attend given that I was taking a final exam on another subject at that time). It's just annoying, made even more intense by the fact that I can't do anything about it, not even write about how I feel, lest I find myself in a student tribunal of sorts.

Given that scenario, I have a minor dilemma. That academic calendar is updated, which means it isn't the original plan for this semester. So I have long conditioned my mind that this week, I am free. My brain has refused to accommodate the adjustments to the scheduled and has already reverted to its sembreak mode. "Forget studying" it says. "Who needs that crap?"

Yes, right now, my brain considers studying and further reviewing for exams as crap. The sad truth however, is that what my brain thinks doesn't matter. Whether its crap or non-crap, when it gets you to advance more successfully in life it's necessary. We have to just deal with it and get it over with. In the words of my beloved band, Maroon 5:

...It's not always rainbows and butterflies; it's compromise that moves us along...

Despite having known that, my brain still refuses to compromise, get its crap together just one last time this month. Naturally, it is still gravely partial towards the rainbows and butterflies.

And this week's definition of rainbows: Misfits. I've been through the second series of Misfits (which, by the way, is just as funny and screwed up as the first), and downloaded and watched the short webisode. I've wasted enough time watching random (or maybe not so totally random-- one way or another, they have relation with Misfits) videos.

And this week's example of butterflies: Nick Hornby's High Fidelity. I have yet to comment on the story, seeing as I'm only half-way through the novel. But it has movie and stage play adaptations; it must be good!

Those things, and everything in between, minus the acads, make me happy. But it also so happens that I end up feeling guilty every time I open a new tab, watch a new episode. Still, I don't do anything about it. And I'm still scared of failing the exam tomorrow, but I really can't get myself to study.

Oct 27 update: I managed to study in the end, starting around 12am, up until 5. I think my studying was effective, which is a good thing, right? Right.

Unfinished

2011-10-03T00:45:00.001+08:00

This is going to make no sense, but I just have to write it down.

"Why are you so hang up on protecting them? What's it got to do with you?"
"I ... uh... uhm... " Perplexed.
"No way.. Do you still like him? This is your defense mechanism, isn't it? Making sure he's happy with someone else so you don't go running back to him... I see now."
"Why, what do you care any way? What if I am? I dunno. I don't know myself."
-
"I just want to know... did you love him more than me? You were never this protective of me... Just curious."
"It was different with you, isn't it? Remember when I asked you not to get married? So maybe... But it's the complete opposite. I have no idea."
"I still love you, you know."
"Seriously? Are you just jealous of me being so hang up on him like you've said?"
"I dunno. I don't think so... It has nothing to do with him... I like you. I don't think I ever stopped loving you. After we broke up, six years after... No wonder none of my relationships worked out. It's always been you. I never stopped loving you."
"OK, so this is creepy... We've been roommates for years, but you don't seem to feel anything for me, other than friendship and now you tell me after all this time, you still love me? Are you serious?"
"I am... But I'm not sure how I'd feel about it too..."

That's not some conversation I had with anyone. It's just a fanfiction idea, and it's crap but hey, it's a start. Guess who the pair talking is. They're from one of my favorite TV shows, used to be canon for the entire second season. Them being someone's OTP is quite rare; the other pair R/B has more supporters, which I also like but not as much as I like R/T. :)))))

List

2011-09-12T17:57:00.000+08:00

list 1 (lst)n.1. A series of names, words, or other items written, printed, or imagined one after the other: a shopping list; a guest list; a list of things to do.

List of things that will be listed in this post:

List of things I was doing earlier
List of things I should be doing now
List of things I am doing now
List of Google Chrome tabs I have open now
List of programs I have open now

List of things I was doing earlier:

Sleep
Wake up to the sound of my alarm
Sleep again
Wake up at around 3pm
Eat a late lunch
Wash dishes
Surf the net
Do the laundry on the washing machine

List of things I should be doing right now:

ITPM shiz
SP chapter 1, 2, 3
Tuberculosis research
Artificial Neural Network research
Equivalence of PDA at Grammar -- read the Finite Automata book
Natsci 50 genetics homework

List of things I am doing now:

Write this blogpost

List of Google Chrome tabs I have open now:

List of programs I have open right now:

Google Chrome
GIMP

List of things I have/want to buy soon:

Mobile phone charger
Printer ink -- to print stuff for my scrapbook, and of course, acads stuff

Oh, and before I forget, I really like Blogger's new layout.

Untimely Adventures

2011-08-30T15:47:00.008+08:00

She is adventurous. At least she thinks she is—after all, she had the markings of a real adrenaline-junkie.

According to some online guide on how to be adventurous, a truly adventurous person spices up routine activities by introducing twists. Check. You see, our daring one once broke into her own home, startling her parents by going through the window instead of the front door. Memories of how precious their expressions were, having been quite horrified of seeing her little arms on perched on the window, her palms pressed against its sill trying to heave her whole, tiny frame up, never fails to make her laugh. In the end though, after a handful of failed trials, her father, so amused, after getting over his initial horror, put his hands on either side of her and tugged. End of adventure, of good old ten years ago.

Second on the list: conquer your fears. Check. She used to be afraid of heights, she still is, anyway. When she was little, she couldn’t even climb the slide. She couldn't go up the monkey bar like her friends did with ease. She was scared she’d fall. She was scared her friends, hanging one-handed on one of the bars, would fall. But for some reason, she suspects it’s curiosity, or just sheer stupidity, she looks down the ground floor, hands trembling, clutching the ledge, when on higher floors of a mall. She looks down the cliff when they pull over the side of the street while on a road trip. And she usually scares herself half to death.

Talk to strangers. Check. Check. Check. How many times had she done that? She does that when in lines, while waiting for a friend, while commuting. And strangers, somehow, choose to ask her for directions, make small talk with her, and smile at her randomly… She sometimes thinks it’s strange, but that’s another thing off the list of being adventurous.

Fourth: Try new things. Yep, been there, done that. I mean, who in their right minds would mix soy sauce, lemon juice, and fish sauce in a glass to drink. Lots maybe—but only the adventurous lot. Fifth: Get lost! Piece of cake. How many times had she got into an argument with her parents about arriving home late?

The point is, she is adventurous. In theory, she is. But everyone has done those at some point in their lives, had they not? So what’s new with what she’s doing? Nothing at all. Nada. It’s not enough. She wants more… She wants probably to skydive, go river rafting, scuba diving, bungee-jumping, hike…

But right now, it’s raining. She jogs home, completely drenched—she has forgotten to bring her umbrella. It must be her lucky day. Her clothes are sagging against her skin, and her limbs are becoming too heavy to lift. How soggy more could she get if she stops now and look up the sky?

So she does. Another item off the ‘How to be adventurous’ list. Live in the moment. Yep, right now, she just feels alive, more alive than she has been in weeks of being cooped up at home ticking things off her school-related to-do list. But it isn’t enough, still. Not if she has yet to skydive, to river raft, to scuba dive…

She starts jogging again. This time she thinks, just how many nights more before I get rich? Because first I need money to do those things on my Bucket list.

And this, ladies and gents is what happens when I have:

An exam on Friday-- Computer Ethics;
Another exam on Saturday -- Computer Graphics, which is very heavy in Mathematical computations and therefore requires tons of practice (There's an objective part too, but I doubt it'll be less difficult than the Math part.);
A Special Problem (thesis) proposal, Chapter One and Chapter Two to write;
An information system (IS) due on Monday next week.

Whatever I wrote above is a complete fiction, but who's to say it isn't rooted to reality?

Open letter to she-who-knows-it's-for-her

2011-08-22T18:11:00.008+08:00

Dear you,

I am not angry, I swear I’m not. Besides, I have no right to. If truth be told, I’m only a little pissed off. But I know I’m not entitled to even a little of that. Because the greater truth is I don’t know what you’re going through. What might be aggravating to me might be sane to you. You’re the only one who knows everything that's happening. So I have no right to form opinions, let alone conclusions, just yet.

I told you, I have been pissed off (and like I said, I wasn’t in any position to). Because you don’t tell us what is happening. And we are growing worried by every hour we don’t hear from you. I am even more aggravated that you sometimes shrug off our worries, and act like nothing’s out of normal. In my mind, I bristle, thinking, how could you just brush aside our worries?

But there are only a few people in the world that I could not stay annoyed at. And you are one of them.

Although to be honest, I want to demand to be filled in on what is happening to you. It is unfair of me to ask that, of course. If you’re not ready, if you don’t want to, there’s nothing I can do about it. It’s your decision still. Because it’s your life, and ultimately, it’s you that decide how to live it. It’s your prerogative.

And even though the only thing I want to know is if you are doing Ok, for my peace of mind, for me not to continue worrying, but I realize now that no, of course you’re not Ok. It’s really stupid of me to wonder in the first place.

The best that we can do now is to be there for you no matter what you decide on. Because that’s what friends do.

(Fair warning though, I am still prone to getting annoyed at you for some stupid things like not attending events you promised to attend, and not telling us why, but it’s only really slightly. You’re lucky, I love you.)

The thing is, when I remember that you are leaving, of course, I feel sad. But when I think deeply about it, I realize I don’t know what I’m feeling. On one hand, I think, it’s normal—people say goodbye all the time. I say goodbye to my parents and friends whenever I leave Naga for Manila. I say goodbye when I hung up the phone. Goodbye to you when we part ways after school. It’s perfectly normal.

On the other, I'm still sad.

But I think goodbyes are temporary. After saying goodbye, there’s a little phrase that comes after that often goes unsaid, “See you.” And about your leaving, that’s basically how I feel. That I might not see you tomorrow, or the day after that, six months after… but I’ll see you again. Definitely.

Love,

"Why can't we get all the people together in the world that we really like and then just stay together? I guess that wouldn't work. Someone would leave. Someone always leaves. Then we would have to say good-bye. I hate good-byes. I know what I need. I need more hellos." - Snoopy

Have you never thought, that if one says goodbye, they might say hello again in some even more lovely future time? I know I intend to, whenever I say goodbye. (But you're still awesome Snoopy; don't take it personally.) - Me

Distractions and Inspirations

2011-08-14T14:17:00.011+08:00

Right now, I just want to get out. Leave the house, leave my life and the expectations behind for a couple of hours. Go to the beach, take a short walk. There's myriads of things to do, and I can't find the will or the inspiration, nor desperation to start sorting them out yet. I haven't written a word of my Special Project (thesis to non-Computer Science majors)'s Chapter One. (Ok, I have actually written a sentence, and have ideas on how to proceed, still a short breather would be good, no?) And everyone knows the hardest part is to begin (so yeah, technically, I'm past the hardest part... I'm on the roll).

Why take a look at my previous paragraph. I managed to contradict everything I said. But the opinion on a short walk still holds. Earlier, there was a mother and a kid (not her kid) talking right outside my window. Arguing would be more descriptive term, but not quite accurate. It was one-sided if it really were an argument. Anyway, the kid was telling the mother (not his mother) that his playmate (the mother's kid), might have taken his one hundred peso bill from his wallet. And the mother was insisting that the kid (not her kid), look for it in his apartment before accusing her child. She also suggested that it might have fallen off instead of stolen, that the wind might have caught it in its descent and it flew with the wind.

I thought the exchange was funny. The mother was suggesting something preposterous in order to protect her kid. I know nothing about a mother's love, I get it. And I look at things more objectively actually; I do what I think is right (except for a select few for whom I'm willing to bend rules). But they were both distracting, I wish they'd talk someplace not right outside our window. Or again, I could leave.

Riiight. I think I've wasted enough time writing this post. But it felt good to have written something even completely pointless and mindless. And I'm giving myself something to look forward to after I finish all these nonsensical requirements I still have to finish to fit later on in life (i.e. college and all the demanding obligations it entails):

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, I am going places in the not so distant future.
(I just realized, my feet are abnormally small. But I'm abnormally small to begin with.)

Song Challenge Mega-post III

2011-07-03T15:59:00.008+08:00

I can see where I’m going to be
When the reaper he reaches and touches my hand

This was the pause after a sentence, when the thought is rendered complete. This was the silence after a sweeping crescendo, when he unknowingly released the breath he didn’t know he had held. It might have been a moment of uncertainty—was there more to the story, was this the end to the symphony? But he knew, fiercely prayed, none would come after. This was the end he’d arranged himself.

On this bed made for two but where only one rested, in this room bathed in a lonely shade of blue, in this two-story house that had once been home—this was where he’d be, solitary, his company only distant memories, when death comes not uninvited.

A constant wave of tension
On top of broken trust

His hands, slightly trembling, clutched the morning paper more forcefully. On the surface, he looked unruffled; he gave no indication to recognizing her presence in the room as she’d crossed the kitchen to the fridge and arranged breakfast on the counter. She hadn’t addressed him either.

What was there to talk about? I’m sorry, I hurt you. I won’t do it again. Let me make it up to you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I love you, I’m sorry. —No, there was nothing to talk about; they both knew, their promises, their words were made of lies.

We’re gonna run, nothing can stop us
Even the night that falls around us

It wasn’t the first time the idea seized her: she had to run. But the first few times, she’d shrugged them off as wishful thinking, and willed herself to be braver, stronger. In the night she prayed that with the next sunrise would dawn a rekindled relationship. She knew it wouldn’t happen, not by a long shot, but she’d still hoped.

Until it got steadily worse, she was drowning in the cynicism: she had to run. And she did.

Happiness hit her like a train on a trail
Coming towards her, stuck still no turning back

She was free.
Then she was happy.

(She was free first—but then she wasn’t happy. With her first taste of freedom in a long time, she thought she didn’t want it. It wasn’t her rightful place. She was supposed to be with him whom she had loved once, and was trying to love again. Perhaps she had still fallen short in her efforts to salvage their relationship. She was a coward; she should not have run—

No, she was free and very happy. It just struck her, out of nowhere. No, she wasn’t a coward, far from it. This had been what she’d always wanted since their relationship went downhill. But she deprived herself of her freedom, and happiness, holding on to what was not worth her hardship and tears. She deserved this.)

Without you I’ll be miserable at best

He was free.
Then he was unhappy.

(He was free first and he wasn’t happy—but truth be told, he was somewhat relieved. With his first taste of freedom in a long time, he thought about damn time. They were both miserable with each other, and then she ran, she gave him an easy way out.

No, he was free, and it struck him suddenly that he was unhappy. How damn miserable he was. He should have done better, known better, been better—

Because he loved her. He loved her then when he first met her. He loved her now, when she’s no longer there.

How fucking miserable he was.)

Marry me
If I ever get the nerve to say hello in this café

On the mantelpiece was a framed picture of a woman. With long hair, and kind smile, she had her eyebrow raised high on her face, as if in question. She looked skeptical, but she’d smiled all the same. The combination made her seem haughty and feisty.

On the back, it said—
Sundance Café,
June 27, 1998

He took the photo for a project in one of his university courses. It was the first photo he shot with his fresh roll of film. He hadn’t meant to start with his project an hour after it was given, yet when he entered the small, homey café, he knew. When he spotted the pretty lady-stranger with her nose buried deep in schoolwork sitting in the far corner of the room, he absolutely had to. She agreed when he asked, and although she was still doubtful it was really for school, she smiled her warmest smile.

The fateful photo ended up on the mantelpiece and not in his project anyway.

Blinds of the evils you give them no side
Focus on floatin’, your focus is tight

He held the photo in his hand, carefully, almost reverently, as if it would reveal a miracle. And surely in his mind, it was the picture of paradise, where there was only happiness and no hurt, only forever and no endings, only her and none of their bitterness. There was his angel, beckoning him to her side.

Tama ang hinala mo

“And you promised you’d never make me cry, but you lied.”

It was how she ended one of their more quiet arguments when he couldn’t think of a reply before she walked out. Truthfully, he knew she was right, and it stung infinitely worse being reproached in a somber tone as he was. It was as if she’d accepted it as a definite truth.

Wag mo nang itanong sa akin
At di ko rin naman iisipin

He wished she wouldn’t call on him now (or ever) and subsequently learn of what he’d done. He was quite sure she’d never forgive, even the mere memory of him. He’d never quite know what to do, should she hate his memory, more than she did now. Even beyond, he knew he’d still be devastated.

Any way the wind blows, doesn’t really matter to me

As a kid, he enjoyed flying kites. Mostly when the day was windy, he would run outside, armed with colorful kite he’d made shortly after losing his last one. On his first time, while he was out flying his kite, the weather grew steadily nasty and the harmless winds that buoyed his kite turned to gales that ripped the string, and broke the kite. He wanted to grieve; he, with the help of his dad, had worked on that kite a long time, but it took a single strong gust of wind to tear it down!

In the end, his dad hushed him up, and together they made a new one. He’d fly it another day, the next time it became windy.

He flew a kite again the day he decided to die. It was his last kite. And when the weather turned for the worse, he realized he’d never make another kite again—too bad. He once thought he’d also teach his child the art of flying kites, but that was in a future he’d never live out.

He let go of the kite.

I am not a church going man,
But father please won’t you hear my confession.

In whole, it wasn’t a very fulfilling life. He had so many regrets. So many people to apologize to. So many things to apologize for. So many things he’d live undone. But he was a coward, he could not go on. And he was sorry.

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?

Hi. I was her friend on earth. We’d known each other for a long time. Back before she knew you, even. We lost touch, however, by the time you were together. She was so into you, did you know? We never even got to hang out during those times anymore. It was always maybe, I’d go, but I’m pretty busy, sorry, I’ll try when we asked her. Sometimes, we understood, sometimes we didn’t. But I’d reconnected with her after you’d gone. You hurt her pretty bad, you know? And I hated you for it.

But when she knew that stupid, stupid thing you did… I just hoped you weren’t so stupid. You wound her up even more. And to ask me now, how she is, if she ever thought of you, that’s just selfish. But the sad thing is, she’s still hurting, no thanks to you.

/
Songs used, in order from the 30 Day Song Challenge

day 18 - a song that you wish you heard on the radio : Wake up - Arcade Fire
day 19 - a song from your favorite album : Runaway - Linkin Park
day 20 - a song that you listen to when you’re angry : Not Gonna Get Us - TATU
day 21 - a song that you listen to when you’re happy : The Dog Days are Over - Florence + the Machines
day 22 - a song that you listen to when you’re sad : Miserable at Best
day 23 - a song that you want to play at your wedding : Marry Me - Train
day 24 - a song that you want to play at your funeral : Heaven at Night - Kid Cudi
day 25 - a song that makes you laugh : Labsung - Parokya ni Edgar
day 26 - a song that you can play on an instrument : Wag mo nang Itanong - Eraserheads
day 27 - a song that you wish you could play : Bohemian Rhapsody - Queen
day 28 - a song that makes you feel guilty : Serious Mistake - Plain White T's
day 29 - a song from your childhood : We got Power (Dragonball Z OP) [not used]
day 30 - your favorite song at this time last year : Need You now - Lady Antebellum

/
Just a little note: I am not depressed, if you thought I was because of what I wrote. I'm probably just not creative enough to think of another plot to bind the different lyrics together. So, please do not over-react.

Just a little quote, so you'd know what I think about what I wrote:

I explain to such a person that patients have repeatedly told me how happy they were that the suicide attempt had not been successful; weeks, months, years later, they told me, it turned out that there was a solution to their problem, an answer to their question, a meaning to their life. “Even if things only take such a good turn in one of a thousand cases,” my explanation continues, “who can guarantee that in your case it will not happen one day, sooner or later?”

- A Man's Search for Meaning, Viktor Frankl

Endings

2011-06-26T11:27:00.006+08:00

For a non-school day, today has been unexpectedly productive, but not in subject areas that matter in real life or, more pressingly, in my student life. Nothing academic nor illuminating in street smarts. But I was happy with my progress, my little triumphs as is. Tomorrow though, I promise to give more thought to school matters:

I would rewrite the notes I’d hastily scrawled like chicken scratches on scraps of paper;
think of a topic for my special problem and the project in Statistics;
read the Bioinformatics articles I’ve scavenged for my report.

But today, between the hours of the mandatory rolling around in bed and burning my eyes staring a the computer screen over menial, shiny posts on the internet, I managed to:

Finish reading a novel. John Le Carré’s magnum opus, The Spy Who Came in From the Cold. But it took me three weeks to finish this 240-page book.

Truthfully, I was a tad bored at the beginning, like I always am when I start with a new book. At the beginning, I was blind; I had no clue what I was reading—I knew nothing about the characters, and consequently what they wanted to achieve. And since it was set during the Cold War, I was clueless of the place and the general circumstance of the community at that time. Thus, I was mildly frustrated.

Had it been a fantasy story, like the other book I read during the summer—The Hunger Games, the plot would have been easier to follow. What you knew of the real world, they didn't matter. In fantasy stories, the settings were explained wholly, the characters described adequately since it’s a new world altogether. But it wasn’t the case with novels grounded on actual history; I had to be armed with historical knowledge to know the first thing about the story.

But towards the middle, when I had enough threads to understand what was going on, I tried to imagine where the story was heading. That was the exciting part. I sampled sentences, their conversations, thoughts and actions, and see if they fit with what I theorized would later occur. If they did, then good; if they didn’t I had to scrap the idea and come up with a new assumption—or assumptions.

But being proved wrong—that was more fun. When the single, strongest theory I had of the ending was confuted, just by a single, unexpected action of the antagonist, that part was the best. The novel’s alternative was infinitely better than my own, I was more than happy to just accept it and read on.

Unfortunately, the praises in the back cover of the book were true: it was a harsh story. Depressing, even. But brilliant, until the very end.

I would read it again, I promise, some years from now.

Watch the conclusion of an anime. I’d started watching [C]: The Money of Soul and Possibility Control, when I went home for my ten-day summer vacation. My brothers had made me watch various animes, but instantly, my favorite was C. At first though, I’d been wary; I procrastinated watching the pilot. Because Masakaki looked scary, sinister.

But after watching the pilot, the next episodes I watched back-to-back-to-back, until it was time for bed, or until I was asked to stop.

C had a complicated story; it baffled me. But I liked being confused. It frustrated me when I did not understand, but frustration is an emotion that didn’t hinder me. On the contrary, it pushed me to watch continuously. Perhaps, I thought, I’d know more when I watched more. (Or read on, whenever I read something I couldn't make sense.)

The story revolved around economics, and I knew little to none about that subject! Therefore, I vowed to learn the basics of economics before this year ends. I’d self-study. Then, I’d rewatch this anime.

I just had one complaint though: the ending was lacking. It was open-ended. Another episode wouldn’t hurt.

Watch a horror movie in fast forward. Thea made me watch the Thai horror movie, Coming Soon. But I’d already guessed the twist before it was revealed. So like most other horror movies, I thought: meh. And because we had to fast forward the ending of the movie, it came out more comedic—I was close to laughing, if only the revengeful ghost’s face wasn’t so gross.

Song Challenge Mega-post II

2011-06-13T13:30:00.006+08:00

Ten days of songs.

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Day 08 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song you know all the words to : Perfect - Simple Plan

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Day 09 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that makes you ~~sad and eventually~~ fall asleep : Eyes on Me - Faye Wong (Final Fantasy VIII OST)

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Day 10 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that you can dance to : Oops, I did it again! - Britney Spears

We used to watch the music video, and pause-and-play it on the dance scenes. We had the whole dance sequence memorized, just for the fun of it, one summer vacation when I was little-r.

/
Day 11 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song from your favorite band : Viva la Vida - Coldplay

In this post, I mentioned that Coldplay isn't actually my favorite band - it's Linkin Park. But this band comes a close second. I have a Linkin Park song reserved for another day's category so, I decided against putting another LP song for Day 11.

/
Day 12 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song from a band you hate : Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People

This song's so catchy; it has a bouncy feeling to it -- almost all of this band's song does. But when you review the lyrics, they're mostly dark and sinister. This one's particularly about some homicidal kid on a killing spree. /shivers

Yeah, he found a six-shooter gun
In his dad's closet hidden in a box of fun things
And I don't even know what
But he's coming for you, yeah, he's coming for you

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You'd better run, better run, outrun my gun

/
Day 13 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that is a guilty pleasure : Party Rock Anthem - LMFAO

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Day 14 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that no one expect you to love : (I Just) Died in Your Arms Tonight - Cutting Crew

free music downloads music videos | pictures

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Day 15 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that describes you : Young Blood - The Naked and Famous
We're only young and naive still
We require certain skills
The mood it changes like the wind
Hard to control when it begins
[EDIT]
Anything but Ordinary - Avril Lavigne

Sometimes I get so weird
I even freak myself out
I laugh myself to sleep
It's my lullaby

/
Day 16 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that you once loved but now hate : Fireflies - Owl City

Explained in this post -- the second random event.

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Day 17 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that often hear on the radio : Pa Panamericano - Yolanda Be Cool

AND THIS VIDEO OWNS!

Manifestation of Boredom, In Bullets

2011-06-10T15:14:00.007+08:00

Two days, in bullets:

2011-6-4

No one in my family knew I was on my way home that night. I wanted it to be a surprise, but at some point, I questioned my sanity—what if something bad happened to me? So as precaution, I asked Jana to SMS my parents should she not hear from me the next morning.

RSL’s new bus looked cool. Awesome. The seats were more comfortable. I wasn’t freezing inside the bus, unlike the other times on their old buses. And if the temperature displays were correct (this was also a new feature of the new bus), the temperature inside alternated between 22 and 23 Celsius, while outside it played around 33 to 26 degrees. The televisions were sleeker too, and the movies they showed (it was Eagle Eye when I came onboard and after that was The Transporter 3).

Around the second movie (The Transporter 3), I took out my laptop and watched a different movie—The Hangover. (I wanted to watch Misfits, but I after the series’ second episode, I was quite wary—the kindly lady sitting beside me might think I was into obscene materials, which, by the way, I am not.) But some 20-odd minutes later, my head started to throb, I slept instead.

/
2011-6-5

The bus didn’t stop over at Roberto’s Food Express, usually the restaurant I stay at when I wait for the sunrise. So, I had to look for another place to stay until sunrise. I ate breakfast a 24-hour McDonalds’ instead. I read a book while I ate, from 4 to 5.30 am. I wrote a little while waiting for the city to come alive.

I think I remember from one of JK Rowling's interviews how the first chapter of what will then become an epic saga, Harry Potter, was conjured inside a restaurant, written on bundles of tissue paper.

And while I am currently in restaurant, or fast-food more precisely, and I am writing on scraps of table napkin, I cannot promise to pen an equally massively appealing novel, or any work remotely close to Harry Potter's status.

- Excerpt from what I have written while I waited idly for the city to wake, Me

(So, I Googled the interview I mentioned, and as it turns out, Jo Rowling didn't write on table napkins when she came up with Harry Potter.)

I went to the 24-hour Dunkin Donuts across the street to take-out a box of munchkins.

Then, I rode the jeepney, and while I was supposed to take a tricycle to our home, I walked instead.. The sun was shining brightly for 6am. Or maybe I hadn’t witnessed that many 6am’s in my life to judge this one as exceedingly bright and sunny.

Twenty minutes after I started walking, I knocked on our door, and surprise!

I met King’s biker friends, who were all really good at biking, so I was fairly ashamed of myself for not being able to ride the bike (I could when I was little, but that was a long time ago; the last time was when I was still in grade school).

So, I vowed that by the end of the evening, I could already work the bicycle. And I did. I got bruises and bumps, but it was worth it.

And I finished watching The Hangover, and it was really, really, really funny without being stupid. Now, I want to watch The Hangover Part II. Anyone wants to join me?

Song Challenge Mega-post

2011-06-03T10:20:00.005+08:00

Technically I should be posting for my seventh day of the 30 Day Song Challenge. But since I'm lazy and slack off all the time with these challenges, I'm already a few days behind.

So now, let me make amends: I'm posting all the missing songs/videos so far.

/
Day 05 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that Reminds You of Someone : Until the Day I Die - Story of the Year

To you that this video reminds me of... thanks. :)

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Day 06 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that Reminds You of Somewhere : Sonata in D Major for Two Pianos K 448 "Allegro con spirito" - Mozart

Powered by mp3skull.com
Of home.

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Day 07 of 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that Reminds You of a Certain Event : Carpal Tunnel of Love - Fallout Boys

And this song reminds me of our Shakespeare play. The epic Twelfth Night: the Musical, which is a huge success. I forgot most of our songlist already, but here are some songs I'm sure we included:

Clumsy - Fergie
Better Days - Citizen King
Your Guardian Angel - Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

The Song that Makes me Sad

2011-06-02T12:53:00.010+08:00

One of my earliest memories is watching Lion King on VHS (the image at the right, kids, is a VHS, in case you haven't seen one -- gah, I feel so old) late one night. We were still residing in Calabanga then, the first of the apartments we rented there. I remember sitting on Papa's lap, my eyes trained on the television. He was sitting on the floor, and Mama was on the sofa. My younger brother (I only had one sibling then; King wasn't born yet), was asleep inside a bedroom. Whose bedroom it was, I couldn't exactly remember. Raph was just a little baby then, and I was around four or five years old, but I couldn't be sure.

I remembered the scene where Mufasa died. He came to save his son Simba who was caught in a stampede. It had all be Scar's doing; he was jealous of the king and his heir-apparent that he plotted to get rid of them both. Mufasa, after successfully saving Simba, died. And Simba, in turn, so consumed with guilt, thinking it was his fault his father died, ran away.

And there was a scene where Simba looked into the water and saw his reflection blink back at him, he saw his father's ghost... And when he looked into the stars, he saw Mufasa... those scenes broke my poor little heart and I cried.

I still get teary-eyed whenever I hear this song.

(Day 04 entry for 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that Makes You Sad : Can You Feel the Love Tonight - Elton John)

To Subic or not to Subic?

2011-05-31T22:45:00.007+08:00

You are a third year Computer Science student, going on fourth this coming academic year. But that fact is hardly important.

So. Your class has decided on an overnight vacation (if overnights can be counted as vacation) to a place you've never been to (because you’re a loser like that). Of course, you want to go. With your constant need to explore and stack up on new experience, this proposal has you excited from the very start.

But life is not always smooth-sailing, and there are complications, other more crucial things to take into account. Because there’s always more than one side to a story:

You are given the permission to go. And you have the money (more or less the bare minimum). Pretty much, you are ready to go.

But you have your doubts, and are of two minds. Fickle-minded, that’s what you are.

On one hand, you want to go home to Naga, where your family of five (six if you include the ever loyal dog Polgas II – Pogs for short – which you are usually inclined to do) awaits. For five solid months, you haven’t seen them (save for your mother who dutifully visited you during the Holy Week to take care of the chores you haven’t been doing prior to her arrival), and so you miss them terribly. You miss your home, the view outside your window when you wake up ~~in the morning~~ for lunch, the ever present Mt. Isarog, the long walks around the village at night... You miss the non-pollution, and the chilly weather, among other things that you could not possibly name all.

If you go to Subic and go straight home after the enrolment, like you had originally planned on doing, you will witness one Nagueño sunrise (upon arrival from Manila), and sleep through six others. For seven days, you will be breathing fresh air. You will also get to spend time with your family, but that hardly matters (suba lang, mga boss :))) ). Even more importantly, you’ll get to bond with your favourite canine.

If you do not go to Subic, and since you have already acquired a permit to let a proxy enrol you for the next semester (thanks in advance, Joy), that’s at least three days more in Naga. And since the alien freaks are complaining how awfully short your stay there is, you try as much as you can to lengthen it. Not going to Subic the surest way to achieve that.

And then there’s the fact that Subic costs more money than a mere student is able to pay. Not that you’ll have to pay for yourself, of course, but for the people who are, aka your sweet, loving parents, you know they’d rather it go to your tuition. Truth be told, you uncharacteristically prefer that too. (Because you’re guilty that you’re the only one having fun, while they break their backs working back home.)

As for the company, you wish there are more of you, and you wish your closest friends would be there (but at this point, you know some will, some won’t).

And now, you have to choose: to Subic or not to Subic?

/
While you are weighing your options, if you are, I provide you with a feel-good song that hopefully hastens your mental process and help you come up with a decision. (Day 03 entry for 30 Day Song Challenge - Song that Makes You Happy : Uncharted - Sara Bareilles)

A very recent discovery, shared by Dadi Ef (thank you!) one time when I was feeling a bit down. It unsurprisingly became an instant favorite. :)

Hate Hate Hate

2011-05-30T22:18:00.004+08:00

Hate is such a strong word, and must be used with enough forethought.

But I need not think thoroughly to say, I really hate this song. I hate it, abhor, dislike, loathe this song that makes me nauseous every time I hear it, any portion of it.

Day 02 for 30 Day Song Challenge is Your ~~Least Favorite~~ Most Hated Song: Banal na Aso - Dong Abay.

Why do I even taint my blog with such useless, awful music?

PS. No, I didn't watch the video and listen to the audio, lest I throw up in my mouth.

It's Not So Bad

2011-05-28T13:10:00.009+08:00

The Good

It’s been more than a month since I started the on-the-job training. I work for a company in Makati, which I know from my three-year stay in Manila, is very near our residence. I can even see the buildings of Makati light up at twilight from my third-floor window.

For one month, I ride two jeepneys, take the train (which can sometimes be frustratingly late), and walk to get to the office. But if I have the time, I could practically walk and arrive at my workplace after, say, around an hour and thirty minutes (not that I’ve tried or would try in the foreseeable future, but let it be part of my Bucket List).

Yesterday night, my kindly neighbor told me that there’s an easier and cheaper way to get there. So today, I adventure my way to work via the route he (reinforced by Nikko's directions) taught me. And all it took is two jeepney rides, both charging minimum fare, and few minutes of healthful walking.

/
The Bad

At lunch cones our first ordeal.

While the guys have been lining up to the counter to make our orders for lunch, a brawl breaks up behind where we sat, close to the fast food’s entrance. The bigger guy gives the smaller one in striped green polo shirt, a couple good jab in the face. Promptly, the smaller guy falls on the floor; the bag slung against his back collapses with him.

At first I think they were father and son— an abusive father who probably thinks public punishment is a form of necessary evil. But later, when the bigger man called out to the diners to ask if someone’s missing their bag, and declared he was police, I realize it was serious business. That now, unfortunately directly involves us. Because the backpack was one of ours. Yes, someone from our group owns the bag.

The smaller guy (fvck that guy) is a thieving creep, and part of an organized crime group.

In the end, after meeting with the building’s owner, with the police, after a long stay in the precinct for the bag- owner, no one has been put on trial, no one’s convicted, and the bad guy will spend at least only a night in a dingy jail cell before his equally foul comrades bail him out. In the end, justice has not been served.

/
The Equally Bad

At school we discover that our professor’s not going to meet us for our lecture class. We only have to sign the attendance and we’re free birds. So, we characteristically decide to roam Robinson’s for the thereafter.

We haven’t been even a long way past the school gates when disaster #2 struck.

Jan takes a wrong step and promptly tumbles down the sidewalk, his bones dislocated. And his face is scrunched in agony. The crowd of annoyingly nosy people gather around him. And one particularly obnoxious passerby even announces to her friend, “Hinuhuli yata.” To you, overly concerned ma’am, don’t stick nose where it doesn’t belong. But I think Jan handles it well (had it been me, I would’ve cried out already).

It’s a while since the real medical professionals gets there to look at his condition. And it is after some running and skipping around the PGH that we manage to get them to help Jan.

/
The Happy Ending
After the lengthy day, that had adrenaline pumping into my veins, I am left tired and I wish nothing more but for the day to be over. The Robinson adventure still pushes through despite.

And I’m just glad it does.

This post was written for May 6, 2011, the day where all events of this blog took place. And as bonus, here's my anthem for that day, which not-so-coincidentally, is my entry for Day 01 - Your Favorite Song (of all time) of 30 Day Song Challenge on Facebook.

	Dido - Thank You .mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

It's not so bad and

I want to thank you
for giving me the best day of my life.

- Thank You, Dido

Letter 04: To the Alien Freaks

2011-05-21T21:13:00.009+08:00

Dear Alien Freaks,

You know I can't just choose one of you to write this letter to. Even if the challenge says a letter to a sibling (singular), I'd still write for both of you. Because I can't think of having only one brother. Yes, there was a time when sibling meant only Raph (long, long seven years they were), but now it's never complete without you, King.

Not that I hate you, Rafael, because you are my best friend, but don't you think it's the little alien freak, King that brought us closer? We used to fight a lot (once a day at least) during those seven years, and now, I honestly don't want to live those moments again.

Raph: the little brother that is more mature, almost like an older brother, thanks so much.

And to you too, King... a handful alien freak you are.

Both of you, thanks for putting up with me; I'll always have your back in return. I love you alien freaks.

Stay awesome and see you soon,
Teppei

Homecoming, I'm coming, my sweet mistake
Summer's over, hope it's not too late
I'm pacing, impatient, up in my head

- Homecoming, Hey Monday

30-day Letter Challenge update - Day 04.

patricia++;

2011-04-25T22:22:00.005+08:00

A couple day’s passed since my birthday (one day, if you live on the other side of the world from me), and so far so good. Being 19, the last year I have into my teens, doesn’t feel any different from being 18, or 17, even 14 for that matter. Albeit, one is expected to act more mature as one gets older, but... do I look like I care?

But. It’s worse than that for me. Not only that I'm not getting matured in the matters of the heart, mind, and spirit – if it’s possible, I’m regressing with regards to this maturity thing.

I know I used to be this kind girl, who’s silent, and quite shy. Never speaks out of turn. Curtsies whenever she leaves the room. Although at this point, I may actually be exaggerating.

True story though: I would mano at classmates’ parents, former teachers whom I happen to see on the sidewalk, but I don’t any more. Not since college.

What in the world has happened to me?

Then they say I’ve become quite the gossiper. I do think so too. And I am absolutely appalled by the thought.

And that I’m already a bully (although seriously, I don’t think it’s bullying that I’m doing. Or maybe it is, but in a good capacity. Not unlike what a big sister/brother does to a younger sibling. Merely teasing. But know that I’ll always be there for those people I bully. Always, and I mean it).

What in the world has happened to me?

But at least, I take solace in the fact that those are probably the only negative non-growths I’ve undergone. And hopefully, pray for my soul, that I do not become worse.

At least I’m still nationalistic; I’d never leave my country for the world. At least I’m still the family-oriented child that I was. At least, I’m still loyal, and faithful, and ...

//

And these are birthday greetings: one (top) from this year, and last year (bottom), from one person I look up to.

"I know that words aren't enough, but you're better than this"

2011-02-26T01:10:00.005+08:00

I'll be really quick: it's 1:26, and I have no idea where this post is going... so yes, this has to be quick. I just decided that I wanted to write all of a sudden, without any idea or even an inspiration of what to rant about.

Or maybe I do, now. Of two things, actually.

1

Mama SMS-ed me that she, Papa, and my brothers are touched by my letter from the last post. I have no idea they are still reading my blog. I do know they have the link to this blog, but I didn't think they are reading it. Now, I'm so embarrassed of my writing, and the mundane content in general.

And they say my recent posts sound so melodramatic, so they are wondering if I'm feeling alright. Yes, I am, my dears. Absolutely. With you guys there behind me even from miles away, I feel absolutely fine. And here goes again the melodramatic tone you talk about.

Just so you know, this time of day really brings out the emotional side of me. Early mornings. Things I witness at this hour, whenever I get the rare opportunity to be out at this time, make me mostly sad. Case in point when I travel alone to Manila. While the Royal Class passenger bus speeds off, I see the beautiful landscapes cast in darkness. And the stars in heaven. They all seem to call out to me and to everyone else to come see them. But alas, most are already fast asleep so no one gets to see these wonders. Sad, isn't it?

In another, more recent setting: the Upsurge 2011. UP Fair, last Friday 18:00 - 3:00 (into Saturday morning), which I had the awesome chance to attend. Or just concerts in general. Or public performances and gatherings like those. They are lonely, in my opinion. Because despite the crowd, the sea of strangers, you realize you have only few people you trust. And I was thankful I had them with me that time.

I made a resume, for the summer OJT program, and sent them to different companies. Or more accurately at this point, just one company but I'd send them to more come the next few days. But that's not the point of this part.

The thing is, it took me hours figuring what to put on that thing. The ones I could only write were unimportant, unrelated to the job I was applying for. I had no awards related to Computer Science. My grades shame me...

Just what good thing have I done with my life so far?

So that concludes the short post I thought to write out of nowhere. Honestly, I am not amused by what I just wrote. Lots of glaring errors everywhere. But I'll live, I think, until later without proofreading this thing. Because I really should sleep.

And because I can't think of a title, here's a random line from a random song: Mayday Parade's Save Your Heart.

Last, the photo is again stolen from Jan's Upsurge 2011 album on Facebook.

Letter 03: The Parental Figures

2011-02-25T01:36:00.007+08:00

Ma and Pa,

Anu pa ba dai ko nasasabi saindo? Gabus na yata. Mapa-SMS, email, school requirement na surat, Skype, IM, FB chat, phonecall, in person... Bale uuliton ko lang sinasabi ko pirmi:
Salamat. Ta kamu naging magurang ko. Ta tigtigtatiyagaan pa nindo ko. Ta tigsusuportahan, ta tigtatabanga nindo ako. Ta tigpapangadyi, ta tigpapadangat ako nindo. Tsaka sa dakul pang mga bagay.
Maswerte ako saindo. Ta matalino kamung mga tao. Ta... (basahun nalang nindo yang kung tanu ako nagpapasalamat. Pareho man sana.)
Sorry. Ta pasaway baga akong aki. Ta dai aki nagtutultol minsan.
Padangat ko kamung maray.
Sana maghaluy pa iribanan ta. Na pirming maging maugma.
Mag-ingat kamu pirmi. Magpangadyi. Ta may Tagabantay kita.
Uuliton ko lang: padangatun ko kamung maray.

:
Faye

Photo: The little blue house in the middle of nowhere where dwells the awesome bunch I call my family.

There is Another

2011-02-22T20:30:00.007+08:00

Just made another blog. Private; for my eyes only. Where I unleash my demons. Because believe it or not, I'm not always happy and all-smiles. And sometimes, things get too ugly for other people to see.

Of course it would be better if I were talking to a person instead, but I'd rather not bother anyone of something I know they'd choose not to care about.

Valentines' Day

2011-02-15T22:37:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was Valentines' Day, February 14. In some alternate universe I'd like to think I spent it with my celebrity boyfriend whose last name was Lerman and with an L-something given name. But that was neither here nor there; just a universe confined in the most secluded corners of my imagination.

Do not get the wrong idea, though. I wasn't trying to escape my reality, because in truth, I did rather enjoy yesterday. Honest.

I only planned to quickly check my emails and Facebook account when I woke up near noon yesterday. But as always, what was supposed to be quick went on for hours, no thanks to tumblr and twitter. And what was supposed to be an 11-am appearance at school was moved to 1-pm. Yes, I was late again (I do not revel on that fact).

So I missed on a lot of things. (For more juicy take on what I missed, check thegossipdiary@tumblr. It's a password protected blog; if you know the password then good for you.) But I had fun during the time I was there. I had a lot of laughs, witnessed swoon-worthy moments, listened to good music--but no thanks to someone (this phrase again!), almost every song didn't get to finish...

Then there was the meal in McDonald's where intriguing questions were raised, and the answers elicited more laughters from us.

Yeah... It was a really fulfilling day.

Photo ~~courtesy of~~ stolen from Jan's Facebook.

Challenge Updates

2011-02-13T13:52:00.005+08:00

First, news about my progress on the challenges I've taken on: (1) Project 365, (2) Tumblr 30-day letter challenge. I've dropped the Project 365 long ago, a few days after my last 365 blog post. Because my I have yet to purchase a memory card for my phone to take pictures. But I will still be posting the last photos I've taken for the project.

As for the 30-day letter challenge, I'm whipping up one right now.

Dear Sherlock,

Truth be told, I don't know if I really have a crush on you. For one, I do not even know you. I've no idea what kind of person you are. What your hobbies and interests are, what you do on your free time, what you like in a lady, your favorite pizza toppings, ice cream flavor... I've never even talked to you or your friends.

All because you make it impossible for me to. Heck, I can't even walk up to you to greet you. You render me rooted on the spot. Or maybe if one day I could gather the courage to say hi, I know I wouldn't even hear the sound of your voice, all thanks to the outrageously loud beating of my heart.

See, you are kind of my dream guy, perfect but impossible to attain.

Although I really hope not.

So right now, I'm praying for opportunities to see more of you. One day, I'll be able to greet you like a friend. And on another day, in the not-so-distant future...

-
This is where I usually see him nowadays.
Photo taken for Project 365, Day 30: January 30.
Letter for Day 02: To Crush.

Balita: Fare Hike

2011-01-31T23:39:00.006+08:00

Wala talaga akong alam sa pulitika. Lahat nang opinyon ko, puro lang napulot ko sa mga nakatatanda (mga magulang ko, madalas) habang naguusap-usap sila. Hindi nga akin 'yun. Nakikigaya lang.

Pero heto, susubukan ko lang bumuo nang opinyon sa mga bagong isyu sa bansa.

P8 jeepney fare approved

MANILA, Philippines— (UPDATE) The government on Monday approved an increase in the minimum jeepney fare in Metro Manila fromP7 to P8 amid what is said are rising “commodity prices.” The fare hike, it said, will take effect Wednesday.

-inquirer.net

Naiintindihan ko naman na kailangan ng mga jeepney driver na makabawi. Trabaho din nila iyon. Kaya sila nagmamaneho para makakain tatlong beses sa isang araw ang kanilang mga pamilya. May karapatan silang magtaas ng presyo ng pasahe kapag nagkukulang na ang kita nila mula sa kasalukiyang nalilikom sa araw-araw.

Kawawa ngayon ang mga pasahero. May karapatan din silang magreklamo, dahil tunay na masakit nga sa bulsa ang otso-pesos na pasahe. Lalo na, sabihin natin para sa mga estudyante tulad ko. Pero kung magrereklamo sila, 'wag na sa mga jeepney driver dahil may katwiran naman ang pagtaas nila.

Ang mali dito ang gobyerno. Sa totoo, hindi naman siguro ang administrasyong Aquino, dahil simula palang nang ipasa ang Oil Deregulation Law. Dahil dito nagkaroon ng kalayaan ang mga kumpanya nang langis na magtaas ng presyo anumang oras. At dahil sila ay mga pribadong kumpanya at negosyo, hindi nila alintana kung naghihirap na ang mga tao sa dahil sa mataas na presyo ng langis. Wala nang magagawa dito ang gobyerno.

Dapat hindi ipinasa ang ganoong batas na magpapahirap sa mga taong-bayan. (Ang isang taong isinasaisip ang kabutihan nang nakararami ay hindi iyo gagawin, pwera nalang kung pansariling interes ang inuuna niya.)

Ibalik sa gobyerno ang pamamahala sa pagtakda nang presyo ng langis.

Photo taken for Project 365, Day 042: February 13. Because I'm a time-traveler like that.

Not Enough

2011-01-30T23:37:00.003+08:00

I am sad. Because all around me, people are flourishing with their talents. Everyone, except me. Already, I am overcome with envy. Just why can't I do anything right?

I have no artistic talent. Yes, I can draw, but those I make are only lifeless portraits. With hollow eyes, unmoving lips and limbs. They are supposed to flow! Move! Smile. Dance. Cry. When you look at their forlorn faces, it should make you sad. Stab your heart with pity. But no, none of my works have any of those. If their faces were painted with any emotion at all, at best, they would be leering... mocking... as if saying, "you are not an artist; never were, never will be."

I am most absolutely not a musician. Although on my defense, I never intended to be. Singing with karaokes and casually playing the guitar are my best attempts at being a musician. But I'm never good in either of them. Among us siblings, I am the only one who can't carry a proper note for a second. Life is unfair like that. And playing the guitar is only a hobby, which I stopped doing since I entered college. The guitar seems like a foreign object to me now.

But the thing I wanted most is a flair for writing. I like to write, hence the blog, the fanfictions... Ironically, however, it's what frustrates me the most. How I can never seem to write something good. Anything ground-breaking. Anything worth your time and feelings. What I write, they're a waste of space, a waste of your time. And I apologize.

Please, teach me how to write.

028: Bestfriends

2011-01-29T23:12:00.005+08:00

As response to this Tumblr challenge, I'll post my first letter. To my bestfriend.

To my bestfriend/s,

First, I don't know who you are; no one actually comes to mind when I'm asked of my bestfriend. Or maybe there are far too many of you, I can't single out just anyone.

//

To my brother-younger, who was once my standard answer to the question "Who's your bestfriend?", I don't really think you're my best friend anymore. You used to be. But we grew apart, when you entered high school. But you're still one of my closest buds.

Brother-youngest, I wanna hug you, the best alien freak.

To Lady, Lhet, and Olie: thank you guys for making my highschool worth the suffering. It wouldn't be the same without you. Special mention to Mharlet for providing the drama. You go, girl!

Jana. You are awesome! I wish I had some of your awesomeness. The world needs more of you...

Tanya, probably my longest-known friend, how I've missed you. You, the very first person I was able to share my anime-addiction with, the first friend I fought with, the first one to come over for a group-- or pair, in our case-- study...

Jan, Tina, Rov, Joy, Ian. I wanna keep you guys forever,if you'll let me?

To my father and mother, always.

//

I have no one best friend, one I am partial to among others. No just one person I'd like to keep all my life, because I want all of them in my future. I am selfish, like that. Allow me?

Love,

faye.

025: Empty

2011-01-29T13:23:00.005+08:00

Rolled in bed for the better part of the day. Then went to school. Waited alone in a deserted corridor for a practice that should've started more than an hour earlier.

So was thinking: this Project 365 thing is getting old, for me at least. Not to mention tiring, and boring. Plus, I'm forced to whip up thoughtless entries just so I could post the photo. And I have absolutely no intention of turning page into a photoblog, but now it contains more photos than sensible words. I hate where this is going, and would hate it more if I don't stop now.

That's why I'm going to impose new mechanics for posting:

Only one Project 365 post per week, containing all the photos I have taken for that time span. If however, I deem that one photo or day is worthy of an entire blog, then it shall receive its deserved post.

There is no number two, heh.

But I'd still really hate it if that Project 356 post contained no meaningful thoughts.

024: Defying Nature

2011-01-24T22:32:00.008+08:00

1 Guitar

She was running late, again, like she always did. And even if it wasn't a class she was late for now, she wasn't any less worried. It was always like this; almost everyday, she would be late for her scheduled commitments, and would be so worried out of her mind thinking that those whom she was supposed to meet had finally grown tired of waiting and had gone. Or if it were a lecture she was late for... well, she wasn't that much anxious-- the class would not leave its designated room anyway.

Her commitment today was for a group meeting. They were supposed to meet at 10, but sadly she woke up at 9 and, being the slowpoke that she was, it took her an hour to prepare.

Normally, it would have taken 20 more minutes to get to the meeting's venue, but by sheer dumb luck and dull memory, she forgot the guitar she was tasked to bring, and had to walk back home and retrieve it. She was late for an hour.

It was a pain. When is will she ever learn to be early?

2 DPSM booths

DPSM booths demonstrating various science tricks littered the LT Quadrangle. Besides our organization's booth, the Slot Machine, my favorite was the one with the levitation technique (I forgot what exactly it was called-- I'll check again tomorrow). I tried the trick twice, once on the guy I-don't-know-but-thought-was-pretty-cute, the other on Rov.

If I know how to begin describing how it was done, I would have. For now, I'd continue fathoming how to put it in words.

3 Dance Practice

If you couldn't dance but were asked to in front of a crowd, would you?

010: Sketching

2011-01-24T00:17:00.003+08:00

Surfed the Internet all day. Stopped occasionally to sketch.

017: Meeting and Practicing

2011-01-23T01:53:00.009+08:00

On a normal Monday, when the DPSM week is either still far ahead in my planner or some days behind, I would not be in school meeting blockmates at such an early hour (before lunch), making props and practicing dance numbers. But it was a welcome change, more productive than my usual Mondays spent lazing around the house and twiddling thumbs.

This particular Monday we (they, mostly):

Made props using these CDs and other materials;
Created a two-minute dance choreography from scratch;
Practiced the other variety show numbers;
Recorded background music for the one of segments.

022: Digi-Pelikula sa Manila

2011-01-23T00:28:00.007+08:00

Today marks the opening of the Department of Physical Science and Mathematics Week (normally called DPSM Week, or sometimes, Science Week). And with it comes the premiere screening of the Digi-Pelikulas (digital films) made by the different year levels of Biochem and ComSci students, and of the faculty.

//

It was no surprise I was late again for the 8:30 variety show practice, arriving instead at almost 10. Albeit, it wasn't a pleasant one. The other members of the group were already done practicing the dance part, and were ready to proceed with the song recording.

In all, we had more or less 45 test-records, going with the trial and error method to achieve which environment conditions would produce the best acoustics for the song. My stomach was grumbling by the end of it-- if finally-giving-up-without-being-wholly-satisfied-with-the-results counts as a suitable end. If I even remember correctly, we only halted the recording promising that we'd resume after lunch when we'd have more energy.

But the others went to their classes after eating (and lengthy chatting), and thus the ones left, who were too few to produce a quality record, made additional props instead.

Surprisingly, it was a very productive day, what with the others present practicing their dance number for the variety show, and us making remarkable progress with the props.

//

Come 17:00-- not the supposed 16:00 previously scheduled start-- and the DPSM movie showing began. The films were viewed by order of year levels, which meant the freshmen's movie was shown first.

Perhaps-- no, definitely, the best one was that of the sophomores, Iris. I won't even spill the plot... just do yourself a favor and watch it (if you have the means). But second in the best pictures, I say, would be the work of the Biochemisty 2008 (technically our batch's but it's a long story). Although, even if all the long Chemistry-lecture scenes were eliminated, it would still fall far behind Iris. The story, the cinematography, acting, editing, sounds, storytelling, setting lighting of the sophomores' movie were far superior than others'. And did I say, the story pwned? If not, then allow me to say it: the second years' movie pwned.

~~(Project 365 photos to come.)~~

Tomorrow is the baranggay fiesta.

Dance number practice.

016: Excellent Vibrations

2011-01-22T01:52:00.006+08:00

I made good on my promise: I did study a bit of Stat, that is, rewrite notes and read them. But I never actually tried to answer sample problems yet.

It's Sunday, Lord's Day, and as always (or most Sundays), I went to Church. And the little excursion outside our house provided me with excellent vibes. I was really happy; he was there. But I swear I was listening to the homily, despite his presence.

I had a goofy smile all night after that.

But let's back-track a bit... to before I left the house. To the preparation time: I brushed my teeth and took a bath. But before I could do the latter, I took this picture:

A worm, with a common name unknown to me (like many things I am ignorant of, example: [1] names of flowers, [2]fishes, [3] trees, [4] insects, [5] ice cream flavors, [6] statistical distributions, [7] mobilephone models, [8] program running time, etc.), had crept up the shower pipe while I contemplated on whether to kill it or not.

In the end, I decided to spare its happy life when I was sure it wouldn't jump to my head. Creatures like these have their respective roles in the ecosystem, and I wasn't about to commit a huge, irreversible offense to Mother Earth by killing it. However, I thought flushing it down the drain wasn't in the least way harmful to it and the biosphere, so I did try. Its many legs were securely fastened around the wiry shower pipe, however, that I failed even at that.

I tried to feel brave for being able to wash my hair with the more-than-ten-legged worm looking down on me (or I imagined it did). But I felt even braver getting close to take a picture of it.

015: Orange

2011-01-15T15:39:00.004+08:00

Orange

As mutely as he could, he set the basket of fruits he brought on the metal chair beside her hospital bed, careful not to wake his pregnant wife. Decidedly, he tried to resist walking over to her to kiss her pretty blond head... but on the next second, he found himself stooping over her, the citrus scent of her hair invading his senses. Chuck kissed her anyway.

I've been at home all day... staring at the ceiling, making friends with shadows on my walls...

Or not.

Actually, I've been reading Chuck and Wallflower fanfictions, hence, that little prose. Initially, I intended to spend the day studying, but of course, that didn't work out. No surprises there. Tomorrow, though, willingly or not (mostly begrudgingly), I really must study.

And to explain the prose above: it's a Chuck piece. A pregnant Sarah in hospital with Chuck visiting her as she sleeps. Inspired by the scoop/poll from spoilertv. Although, I really do hope the answer to that poll isn't actually Sarah Walker/ Yvonne Strahovski. For one, that would ruin the story. Second, it would ruin my shipping.

Last, spot the lyrics from a Matchbox 20 song.

014: Mission Failed

2011-01-14T01:38:00.003+08:00

As usual, I was running late for school. My earliest Friday class should have begun at 7.00, or at least was scheduled to start at that hour.

But since professors are also humans like you or me, they would sometimes oversleep too. Who wouldn't? If you were a professor and had to choose between staying in your fluffy, comfy bed, and getting up to teach a hunch of rowdy smart-ass, college kids, which would you choose?

If it were me, that wouldn't even be a question: sleeping in would win hands down. Well, that was what I was hoping our teacher would do today, and indeed I hoped right... but he was only late for an hour-- I was late for an hour and a half.

Before I left the house, my tita asked me to send a letter for her. I was to go to the post office and deliver the letter safely-- that was today's goal.

That was today's lunch, if you're interested to know. A baked macaroni and red tea from the cafeteria. I ate alone, which was morose, but my classmates were out of the campus to photocopy the lecture material for our next subject--it was for good cause.

I could've gone with them, but I was too hungry to move.

A rubber boller-- originally Ef's, now it's Chessell's. I thought it was photo-worthy considering it was a souvenir from a Bamboo event. Yep, the band that recently disbanded, I was almost to tears when I heard the news.

I could even cry right now.

Right before Math 174 class, I spotted this vandalism below a bulletin board. Of course, it could only have been done by Computer Science students. Although, I still wonder what the kind of satisfaction is attained when writing a code segment on walls.

After the uneventful class, at approximately 19.30 (we ended early tonight), we -- the Statistics track -- waited for our HI blockmates to finish their Math 121.1 class. Then, ... (I believe I'm not allowed to say whatever happened afterward. Orders of the blockhead.)

//

We ended at 20.30, at the earliest, and by that time, the post office was already closed. I know, I even went there. And with today's mission: I failed.

013: Running Late on a Non-School Day

2011-01-13T00:44:00.005+08:00

The above image was taken while I was stuck in traffic. It was already 7.30, and my classes were supposed to start at 7.00. I was already late by at least 30 minutes.

Supposedly.

When I finally arrived, guess what I found. Yep, my classmates for the 7.00 class were sitting around the round plastic cafeteria tables. At first, they were waiting for the 7.00-class professor to arrive, but instead they told me he had already canceled the lecture class for that day.

I didn't really mind. But I would've appreciated it better had I been told earlier, while still in bed-- or much better, the night prior, before I went to bed. Then, I wouldn't have to get up early, clearly against my will.

But it had been done.

So now, we were waiting for the next class-- another lecture in Statistics.

And the waiting period instantly turned into a photo-op, which actually started even before I arrived.

In the end, our next-class teacher SMSed and announced she won't be meeting the class.

012: I Love Math

2011-01-12T00:37:00.001+08:00

In Statistics 122.

Project 365 - with a Twist

2011-01-06T22:38:00.005+08:00

I am going to cheat. Be at two dates at the same time-- six even. Just for tonight. Because during the remaining days of the year, I will be posting a Project 365 (with a Twist) entry for only that day. A blog once a day, at least-- that's one of my New Year's Resolutions.

I know, I know, cheating is bad. But if I don't do the past five days' posts, then how is this going to be called a Project 365 (with a Twist)? (Although I could just extend to January 06 of next year, but... hmmmm... I really don't wanna.)

So I've only known of Project 365 (waT) today, thanks to Cristina and Jan, who are both doing theirs in their facebook and tumblr, respectively.

Now here's the twist: I will not be doing just photos. If I had a decent camera, I would, but alas(!) poor me has none. But I still haven't figured out what my Project's central medium would be. Jan and Tina said there were others who are sketches and poetry. For the last five days and today, I'll just post random media, yeah? Probably snippets of literature, photos too, music, etc.

Most importantly, I'll definitely have fun with this thing.

05: New Term and 'Do

2011-01-05T16:08:00.000+08:00

Nothing like a new hairdo to welcome the school term. And turns out I wasn't the only one.

Meanwhile... during my breakfast at Chowking's after I arrived safely in Manila, the lady who asked for my order in the counter had to approach me while I ate to ask what I was doing out at 4am. I tried not to laugh, but the look on her face was hilarious. She seemed genuinely confused. Or worried (I'd ran away from home)-- or both. I tried to look like I didn't care, while I explained how I'd only been in Bicol eight hours ago.

Anyways, at 5.00, I learned that we won't have our CMSC 124 lab-- my first class that day so I was able to at least sleep until 9.00. Then there was Statistics class (Inferential Statistics), a pretty easy Stat laboratory after, then another Math (Linear Algebra). Oh joy...

04: "Dreaming of what could be"

2011-01-04T15:54:00.006+08:00

Grew up in a small town,
and when the rain would fall down
I'd just stare out my window.

("Breakaway", Kelly Clarkson)

That is the view from my bedroom window. No other windows in the house looks out to that part of that world,just mine and the small one over the sink.

On a clear day, I would be rewarded by the view of a green house some 50 meters away from ours, and of Mount Isarog.

03: "Adventure is out there!"

2011-01-03T15:27:00.000+08:00

Well, I did venture out the confines of our lovely home and explored the lot outside it...which still belongs to us.

Ok, fine.. So it wasn't really an adventure. But don't blame me! It was too cold outside, I was shivering out there. Brrrrrr.

(Title quote from the movie UP. Awesome film. If you haven't seen it yet, do yourself a favor and watch it.)

01: The New Year Treat

2011-01-01T22:55:00.012+08:00

This is the first part of my time-travel-entry for Project 365 (waT).

January 1st, New Year's Day.

This picture of me is taken during this very morning. Yep, morning, guys. You know, it really isn't impossible that I know of that word; I do wake up before noon every once in a while. But nocturnal that I am, it is a rare occurrence save when we have classes during those ungodly hours (read: before lunch).

I have breakfast this morning, the event gracing the second rare-occurrence-but-happened-for-this-day that day. Leftovers of the media noche. Yum.

Oh, and the reason for why I'm even awake isn't because it's New Year's. If ever, it is more reason not to wake up early... rather it's thanks to the Meitantei Conan Live Action that aired this morning on GMA. Oh yes, dear Shun Oguri is to be blamed for getting me up for the morning.

(And just because I want to, I am throwing you a Googled picture of Koike Teppei. Happy New Year's to you too! And another random nonsense from me: My brothers call me Teppei, even in their SMS. Nice, huh?)

And I sleep again after lunch, only to wake up again while Mysterio airs on GMA. Then I go to Church for the obligatory New Year's Day Mass.

Say, this is a boring (fake) first post for 2011. But it could only get better from here, I think.

Why I Blog

2010-12-09T17:36:00.008+08:00

And just because I'm awesome, I'm writing another blog entry.

For no reason at all, other than my fingernails being now long, I feel I have to cut it so I could type with more ease, I am blogging.

And the other reason being that I screwed up at something I'd rather not reveal and yet still hadn't done anything to rectify the mistake, I whip up an instant post.

Or maybe it's because my favorite TV show Chuck is on hiatus that's why I'm here, making this blog. You think?

I write a blog for the sheer purpose of congratulating some people I know for getting there. NGL though, I am a bit jealous. But I'm happy for them, too, you know? And jealousy does not do well for anyone, let alone me, so now, I let it go.

Next week, six days from now, I have a back-to-back quiz on Math 120 (Linear Algebra) and Math 174 (Numerical Analysis). And now I blog just to let you know.

I'm blogging now to tell you Imma study real hard. But that's for later, and for now, I'm blogging.

Gossip Girl 04.11 is buffering in another tab-- I just thought I'd give you the heads up in this blog.

I want to share this gif (which I didn't make, by the way; it's from fuckyeahinception@tumblr), hence the post.

There are a million reasons why I'm blogging right now, the first, last, best of which, is: I AM AWESOME. But you know that already.

Inception of sorts

2010-12-02T21:56:00.007+08:00

At the risk of turning this blog into a dream-diary, I present to you-- you guessed it-- another dream sequence! Tada! A dream within a dream within a dream...

I was in school, sitting with my friends waiting for a lecture to start. Then I saw this guy I had a light crush on and I walked up to sit beside him. He was on the front row, the extreme right. Then all of sudden, he hugged me.

But when he let go, he was already at the back of the room. I never thought it was bizarre how he did that because I was very irked at him for the most part.

So when he returned when the film ended (class had started somewhere in the middle of the dream but we only had film showing), I wouldn’t look him in the eye.

Ok, so I didn’t know how I got into a run-down one-room house from school. But that happened a lot in the dream and I never suspected a thing about the unreality of it all, like always.

Anyways, it was morning, around seven to ten o’clock, judging from the sunlight pouring from the barely-hanging-on-its-hinges door.

Somehow though, I knew I was trapped inside (although my hide-out was very open), as if there was a zombie apocalypse beyond that room.

Thankfully, I never got to witness the zombies hunting down human beings under the happy morning sunshine, because the next I knew, I was in a mall, following two of my classmates around. If I’m not mistaken, one of them was the person I picked for the block exchange gift and her friend.

Then, we were on a cliff, the three of us. And one of them ran to the cliff and dived to the waters below. Another asked me to jump after her. So I did. It was a stupid move in real-life, since I didn’t know how to swim. I DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SWIM AND STILL I FREAKIN’ DIVED!

The water below was dark blue, probably from the shadows of the cliff. I was pretty scared so I shut my eyes.

I never splashed into the water, though, and that was when I realized, I must have been dreaming. I willed myself to wake up.

I thought I woke up. Back at home in Naga, at the bottom bunker of a pull-out bed (which was curious because we made the pull-out bed into a double deck back when I was in grade school; oh yeah, and my family also changed address while I was away for the second semester this year; and I had my own room).

I glanced on my right and there was a chicken. I looked on my left, the side of the top bunker, and saw my brother’s sleeping form. There was a stray kitty beside him, sitting upright and looking at me murderously. Again, I never thought I was still dreaming.

From the living room, I could hear my parents making an international call to my uncle in the US.

I wanted to sleep again (or dream another layer) when they came in the room. I told them all about my other dream. And the fact that it was funny because I was talking about dreams in school earlier that day too and how I could never tell I was dreaming when I dreamt. I was even congratulating myself for doing it the first time. (I know at this point I am not making anymore sense.)

And I couldn’t remember the other parts…

I asked them about the kitty—they said it was a fierce little cat that even when it goes shopping people make way for it. I asked why it needed to go shopping and suggested that maybe they weren’t feeding it enough hence the shopping. (It was a disturbing conversation, I know).

Then I realized I was dreaming again and woke up again to another dream, but at this point I already forgot what happened on that last one.

Then I woke up for real, with my cousin looking at me strangely, leaning against the door of the room. She heard this story as soon as I got over my slight freaking-out-at-the-sight-of-her.

Just how many times did I write the word dream in this post? Dream, dream, dream, dream, dream dream dreamdreamdreamdreamdream...

So in the end, I was still unable to tell if the dream is a dream when I'm dreaming.

And that photo over there is the version one of the poster we used for the CMSC 131 machine problem. It was supposed to look like the Inception movie poster, but don't ask what happened to it.

Christmas Wishlist

2010-11-24T20:20:00.003+08:00

Honestly, I'm not picky over gifts. They're free afterall. And it's the thought that counts. Pero kung wala kana talagang maisip, heto guide lang. ;)

A hoody. Or a shirt/dress with hood. Cute, preferrably light colored (or navy/baby blue). Not pink, though.
A beret for my cute head when I travel.
This Nerd Shirt. Or not. XD
Bag. Something comfortable for travel (and even for school) and cute. Backback, most probably.
Fight Club book. Or JK Rowling's Quidditch Through the Ages-- the only book missing from my Harry Potter collection and sana hardbound para kapareho nang iba kong HP books.
Wrist watch. Red straps, but not required.
Bike?
A decent portable music player.
Acoustic guitar.
External hard-drive or flash disk.
Boots.
Laptop.

Uh, more to come? I just whipped this up in a hurry, so I don't know what else to put.

Basta, surprise me.

The Light Nightmare Sequence

2010-11-23T20:01:00.010+08:00

Shortly after 17.00, just after I’d finished copying my classmate’s notes in Statistics, I took a nap. (I’m sure you would understand just how boring studying could get.) I dreamt. Three dreams, maybe, but I couldn’t be sure—I couldn’t remember anything from the second dream.

We were in an amusement park—Enchanted Kingdom, if you know the place. Just me, with my two brothers in tow. We were looking for what to ride next—a ride that could accommodate all three of us, even my nine-year-old brother.

And there was this ride, in the middle of the park, which we thought we could try. Pretty harmless—four black-and-white seats mounted on a sleek black platform, which I took to house the motor that should shake the chairs while we sat. Just chairs that go shakey, shakey.

When we walked to the place, a friend I knew from college was there, crouched down on the platform, tying the shoelaces of her Chuck Taylors. She wore a baseball hat, white shirt with three-fourths sleeves, and baggy jeans. She looked up when she heard us.

I invited her to join us on the ride while I sat my brother on the middle chair and secured her seatbelt. I looked to my other brother, only a couple of years younger than I, and his belt was already in place too. He took the rightmost chair, closest to the edge. My friend nodded her assent and by that time I had already strapped my belt too holding me against the comfortable, big leather-cushioned seats.

But before she walk to the remaining vacant chair on my left, the ride began to move. And the individual seats weren’t just shaking, instead the whole platform moved, swinging dangerously in a circle. Like a merry-go-round.

I reached for my brother’s hand and grabbed hold of his finger.

When I woke up, the feeling of his finger was still there.

I was at school––GAB second floor. But not in one of the computer rooms, curiously. But on the corridor on the far end of the hallway. I sat on an armchair, which in reality shouldn’t have been there. There were armchairs on the corridor, lined like it would in a classroom. And there were a bunch of other students waiting for class there with me.

On one of the chairs was a dictionary. Red Merriam-Webster Dictionary, like the one I owned. I sailed between the aisles of chairs to the dictionary… and I started to read when I got it.

I was reading a random entry:

[A person’s name] n A Brazilian student who…

It was about a college student, male, who went to a boarding school. He lived away from his family... (I couldn’t remember everything in his story, but when I read I had the horrible feeling it was talking about my life. ) … And in the middle of the semester, he received a letter from home. All the while he thought they didn’t care about him, but in truth…

Their city was buried during a landslide. No one survived.

I threw the book in shock.

Then, I was awake.

to God and my all.

HP7-1 Instant Post

2010-11-18T18:49:00.007+08:00

Just dropped by to say I watched the latest Harry Potter: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows (Part 1) -- such a mouthful! Second part on July 2011. I can't wait.

It was an okay film. There were very awesome parts-- the wedding, the story of the Peverells, the Ministry, the Godric's Hollow, and the Malfoys' Manor scenes, among others. Probably the only dragging parts were the extended chase and fight scenes which were plenty. It could get boring at times, but it kept me awake anyway.

And I can't believe I never once wrote about my Harry Potter movie experience nor about my book-reading! Maybe on the next post.

-
Image was Googled. So I don't know who to credit. Not mine anyway.

So, back to reality. Acads mode: ON!

Oh, and just one more thing. Willing Willie is on TV. That disgusting person of a host is manwhoring again. Ugh. And I'm not striking this through because I changed my mind. But because I hate to defile my glorious moment with a mention of such a lowlife. But I thought you should let you know what I think about him anyway.

My God and my All.

Family and Home

2010-10-26T23:19:00.015+08:00

Flight and Fright.
Monday—my cousin Thea was on her way home. I accompanied her to the station. And that’s when I saw him, Sherlock-san. That time, I wish I hadn’t cancelled my trip for that night, then I would’ve boarded the same bus to Bicol as them.

Tuesday—I hadn’t completely finished my house chores before I went home to Naga, so now I’m frightened as hell to learn that my Tita will return there with Thea before I do. For one, I hadn’t paid the bills and now we risk getting our DSL connection, uh, disconnected. Tomorrow’s the deadline, mind you. Second, I hadn’t thrown out our garbage and it must smell like hell inside that small unit. Third, I left a can of milk inside the refrigerator—heck, why was there a can of whatever thing in our fridge? That’s bad… but for once, not my bad.

I met this guy on the bus, around my age (or so I think; I’m a really bad judge of age). My seat-mate actually. He asked me while we boarded where I was getting off at and I told him. Good thing too, since I was deep asleep when we arrived at Naga at 3am—he woke me up.

For twenty minutes I waited for my parents on a 24-hour restaurant. At that hour, I was the only customer in that place, only I wasn’t a customer per se, since I didn’t actually order. Usually, I eat breakfast there and wait for the sun to rise before I head home (it was very majestic, by the way, the sunrise) but this time I asked my parents to come fetch me there. While I waited, the crew were huddled together around a table next to mine and were exchanging ghost stories.

Attendance.
Sunday—The Lord’s Day. I was pleasantly surprised to hear that Papa was going to Church with us. The last time he did that--- I couldn't really remember, it was way too long ago.

So Raph went to the 6pm Mass. King and I to the 7pm. Mama and Papa attended the 8pm one. It would have been nice if we could all go together, but we usually couldn’t concentrate on the Celebration that way. Hence, the new arrangements.

Music and Movies.
~~I brought another Facebook Note here on my blog, courtesy of the guys who tagged me: . It was about music.~~

Besides reading (Old Bones by David Wishart), the only thing I did here at home was watch movies. Like Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen, Forrest Gump, Seven Pounds, and The Exorcist, among others. Movies sound familiar? Of course, they were all airing repeatedly on HBO, save the Exorcist which I watched on Cinemax.

We watched a total of four movies too when we went to Lady’s house: one comedy, one dance, one drama, and one psychological thriller, only we weren’t paying attention to them since we were busy playing cards. :P

Incidents, accidents.
Two accidents happened to my extended family, one on each side. First is my father-side uncle killing someone. Uncle was driving from Laguna to Naga to visit his parents, when somewhere in the Partido area , they hit a drunken chap crossing the street. It was the drunken geezer’s fault, but justice according to law allows the victim’s family to file a case against him. That’s justice for you—twisted and not justified at all, in my opinion.

Second, my second cousin once removed, was stabbed dead. That's all I'm allowed to say.

I didn’t really like expanding this part… so moving on.

Loaded.
Or un-loaded actually. I never had cellphone load all vacation. So I had no contact with my college friends, not even through the Internet, since connection here is limited too.

Still I end up sleeping so late at night—or early in the morning technically despite being so deprived of those technological links with the rest of humanity (the part of the world outside our own home). Normally I would sleep at around 3am. I blamed it all on fanfiction. Those collection of amature literatures kept me awake, which I read on my mobile phone.

L could also stand for Lady, Lhet, and Lawrence. Oh, and Loraine-neechan too. The people whom I spent 8 hours with, playing cards, joking around, watching movies, yada yada yada, last Thursday. I had a good time… real fun time. Til next time guys!

Yada yada.

That was my toothbrush at home in Naga on the picture. It kind of symbolized home for me.
Next time I come home for Christmas, it would be at a different place. The guys planned to move to our new place on the third week of November.
I didn't see my dentist when I was home. She'd kill me on December.

My God and my All.

"Nothing Good Happens After 2 AM"

2010-10-08T01:56:00.013+08:00

My laptop's system clock, on the lower right side of the screen, says it's currently 2:24 AM. Most people at this side of the world are asleep by now, probably onto their second to fourth REM tonight. But not me; I haven't slept a wink yet (but will be turning in after I'm done with this). I've been studying for two final exams tomorrow (or later today, technically), both major subjects, and for a hands- on laboratory exam.

At this point, I am only 1/3 through with reviewing the lecture exams, and with 0% practice for the laboratory one. I am very much lagging behind schedule.

Yet you still find me here, blogging. Heh.

I just thought I should get this out before I proceed with my studying. I'm afraid I can't continue before I make my point: I'm tired. Of studying, of waking up (early), of reviewing, of answering math questions I'm not even sure have relation to my real, non-academic life... Of living, in general.

I don't want to study anymore. Leaving the comforts of my bed is becoming a drag. Using the Internet for purposes other than to have fun (meaning to fulfill school requirements) is, well, not fun.

But we all know, I can't quit school. What better place is there to learn than school? And life, life is learning that goes on until your last breath. To stop learning, to stop going to school, to stop studying, reviewing, is like asking a fairy godmother to stop granting wishes. There is no point. Why even call her fairy godmother if she can't grant wishes? To stop pursuing your purpose (one of which, unfortunately, is studying-- learning) is to ultimately seize having a point. You become not human.

I wonder if I make sense. I'd probably laugh about this in the morning. Although you know, after 2:00 AM I transform into some contemplative Plato. Mind you, yesterday at 2:00 AM, I was thinking about life and death (a blog post for some other normal, healthy time of day).

Although it doesn't guarantee the sensibility of my thoughts though.

Anyway, I hope I do well on tomorrow's examsssssssssss (Ugh, look at that plural).

Last, this post's title comes from an episode title of How I Met Your Mother.

[Edited a bit on October 12, 14:41]

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

My Life According to Coldplay

2010-10-03T00:15:00.012+08:00

Are you a male or female: X&Y

Actually, I'm an XX.

Describe yourself: The Escapist

Escaping from the homeworks, projects, machine problems-- yeah, I'm good at that. Then, I find myself into more trouble when I reality comes checking up on me.

How do you feel: Trouble

Grammatically incorrect, but will do. And as to why I'm troubled, check the entry above. (Yes, it means I've been shoved into reality once more.)

Describe where you currently live: Lost?

I'm always trying to find my way home, and that is by working my butt hard every school semester.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: Amsterdam

Well, Amsterdam is a good song.

Your favorite form of transportation: Parachutes

For someone afraid of heights, I'd say parachutes is a good choice! (Hint: Sarcasm.)Jokes aside though, I'd like to ride a parachute someday. Or a flying house held floating by all the balloons in the world.

Your best friend is(are): Brothers and Sisters

... by blood or otherwise.

Your fear: Cemeteries of London

I am afraid of a lot of things, but Cemeteries of London isn't one of them. In a scrapbook, my dislikes entry would be like this:

Dislikes: heights, geography books, astronomy books, non-mammal animals (especially snakes, and other reptiles), blood, and ...

What is the best advice you have to give: Don't Panic

There's nothing here to run from,
And there, everybody here's got somebody to lean on.

Thought for the Day: God Put a Smile upon Your Face

So don't fight it.

How I would like to die: Death will Never Conquer

My soul's present condition: Til Kingdom Come

	Coldplay - Til Kingdom Come .mp3

	Found at bee mp3 search engine

My motto: No More Keeping my Feet on the Ground

Sometimes I wake up and I'm falling asleep
But I've gotta get going
So much that I'm wanting to do
But I wake up smiling

And this could be my last chance
Of saving my human sense
And this could be my last chance
No more keeping my feet on the ground

Coldplay is brilliant. I love them, though I don't claim to know each of their songs.

But Coldplay isn't really my top-one-favorite band. Guess what it is. Well, no, don't guess. Actually, it's Linkin Park. Go figure.

Also, shout out to the people who tagged me on a note on Facebook that required me to do this: Jan and Rov, my very dear music-loving (emphasized, since it was too on the original note) friends.

Pure Nerd

2010-09-22T21:28:00.006+08:00

Pure Nerd
61 % Nerd, 35% Geek, 35% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.

A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.

A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!

...

Says the The Nerd? Geek? Or Dork? Test.

...

I think I approve of my results. I like being a Nerd. I like this Nerd shirt, and I absolutely LOVE this nerd who wears it! Presenting... Zachary Levi in his Nerd shirt!

Nerd nerd nerd nerd Lalalalalalala~

(Original image snagged from here. Tweaked it up a bit on The Gimp.)

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Rant tungkol sa mga Jeepney Driver

2010-09-07T22:29:00.005+08:00

Nakakainis talaga ang mga jeepney driver dito sa Manila. Maging nung unang beses kong makarating sa Manila ('nung ikalawa pala dahil may dala kaming rented na sasakyan nang unang pagpunta ko dito) napansin ko na agad kung gaano ka-swapang ang mga jeepney driver dito. Biglang tumitigil sa gitna ng kalsada para bumili ng sigarilyo, magpapapalit ng barya, o kaya maghintay ng sasakay na pasahero. At dahil napakaraming sasakyan dito, ang saglit na pagtigil ng sasakyan ay nagdudulot na ng trapik. Pero wala silang pakialam dun. Kahit ang haba na ng trapik sa likod nila, hindi sila gagalaw sa pwesto. Kahit nabibingi na ang mga nakasakay sa mga busina ng mga nakasunod na mga sasakyan. Bwisit na mga buwaya. Kala mo kung sinong mga hari ng kalsada.

Kainis.

Kaninang umaga, pauwi ako galing university, sumakay ako ng isang jeep na sobrang walang pakialam sa mundo ang driver. Araw-araw, tumatawid ang jeep na sinasakyan ko sa tatlong highway. Hindi ko malaman kung color-blind ba si kuya o sadyang bobo lang siya o walang pakialam lang dahil sa tatlong highway na yun, tumatawid siya habang naka-red ang stop light. Madaming madaming mga sasakyan na ang bumubusina samin, kaliwa't kanan. Siguro kung isang beses lang, sasabihin kong baka nagkamali lang... pero sa lahat ganun siya! Tama ba yun?

Tapos may dinaanan kami: isang jeep na naka-steady sa isang tabi, naghihintay yata ng mga sasakay. Mukhang gusto niya yata maghintay din dun, kaya sinigawan niya ang driver ng kabilang jeep, "Anung meron diyan at ayaw mong umalis?"

May isa pang jeep na naghihintay naman sa may intersection. Labasan kasi ng mga estudyante sa kalapit na elementary school, sa kabilang parte ng intersection. Nakaharang ang jeep na yun. Walang makadaan. Halos 20 minuto din syang naghihintay. Ang haba na ng trapik na nabuo kakahintay ng pesteng driver na yun.

Puro busina naman yung driver ng jeep na sinasakyan ko. Nasa likod kasi kami. Pero nang mapuno na ang jeep sa harap, yung jeep naman namin ang pumwesto dun at naghintay.

Grabe, parang gusto ko nang murahin nung si manong. Kaso hindi ako nagmumura. Hanggang 'peste' lang ang alam ko.

Moving on.

Ito na, last nang offense niya: naninigarilyo siya sa jeep niya. Samantalang may nakapaskil na malaking sticker sa likod ng driver's seat: "This jeepney is smoke-free. No smoking at all times."

I-rereserve ko na lang ang comment ko dun.

At dahil sa rant na 'to, bigla kong na-miss ang Naga City. Kahit nagkakaroon na ng kaunting trapik dun, hindi pa rin ito kalala tulad dito sa Manila. At hindi kasing-swapang ng mga driver dun ang mga driver dito. Kasi pwede silang ireklamo kung magloko sila.

At dahil tayo ay natungo sa usapang Nagueno, gusto ko lang sabihin na tigilan na nila ang pang-aaway kay ex-Mayor present-acting-DILG secretary Jesse Robredo. Magaling na tao yan. Anu bang magagawang pagbabago sa bayan natin kung ipatatanggal ang isa sa pinakakamatinong lider ngayon?

Suportado mi ika, sir.

Kahit na wala akong alam na marami tungkol sa pulitika.

Ang nasa larawan ay hindi isang jeepney driver; tricycle ang pinapasada niya. Kuha ko yan-- halata namang kuha ng amature.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"Fridays are the M&Ms in the bag of trail mix."

2010-09-05T01:58:00.011+08:00

Friday is the most tiring day of my week. Yet, it is the most fun. Always. Everytime. Every week. (Except the one time when I have to work overnight, despite it being Friday, on a machine problem for 137. I didn’t sleep a wink; I was awake for 27 hours.)

But yesterday—two days ago would be more correct technically, seeing as it is already early morning of Sunday— was more fun than usual. Yes, I didn’t manage to deliver a complete program output for CMSC 131 lab, but I had a lot of laughs right after that. There was the usual teasing and joking around during the lecture class, although as Sir noted the jokes were different than usual: they were a tad more ‘dark and worldly.’

We had our very first seatwork for CMSC 137, although it will be recorded as one machine problem. The questions were about packet forwarding mechanisms, routing, etc. There were five questions; I answered the easiest three, which were very easy it makes me cry, while Trixe and Tina answered a more difficult and complicated one apiece.

Then it was Math 121.1 class from 17.30 - 20.30. Before that however, when I first entered our classroom, I spotted a miniature, pocket-sized Sto. Nino on top of the air conditioner. It was faced our way, towards the door. I was curious why it was there, but thought nothing more of it.

While waiting for our teacher to arrive, my classmates played a bit of Pusoy Dos. Then someone (Dan actually) mentioned Korean noodles amidst the light chatter so I decided to go downstairs and buy one, seeing that classes end around dinner time, I’d probably get hungry sooner from all the mental exertion.

And soon it was Math class. I was lost in the abstract world of differential equations, non-homogeneous this time (last week, it was homogeneous)… and my noodles had lain cold and forgotten on the chair beside mine. I managed to finish it, though, a few moments before our dismissal.

It was some minutes after 20.30 that we ended classes formally, with a comment from our teacher, regarding the Sto. Nino: ‘Di ba nakatalikod yan dati?’

We all glanced at the Sto. Nino on the aircon. It seemed that it was the first time for some to notice the small figure. Some were bewildered.

Actually, after I’d first seen the Sto. Nino, at least an hour into the class discussion, I took a peek at it and saw that it had its back on us, probably the initial position Sir must have seen it at. I freaked out at first. Mikyle, who was sitting closest to the aircon moved it so that it was facing the door again, after which our teacher must have seen it the second time, thus his comment.

But remember, it was facing us before Sir spotted it with its back turned. That had me freaked out. So I asked Mik to verify this for me, and he said that was indeed the case.

But the slight fear that came to me was short lived. Upon closer inspection, I noticed the air conditioner was softly vibrating, therefore the Sto. Nino above it was ‘head banging’ (Mik’s term) as well.

That’s when obligatory ghost stories became obligatory, with Sir leading. They said there was a lady in white in the bathroom. I heard someone quip that there was one on the stairway as well. I had little doubt there indeed were, since out school is ultimately a med school. I could almost see the cadavers they store somewhere on the floors above ours.

I was quite proud of myself that I still managed to throw my trash (the cup noodle’s cup) all alone, on the garbage can which is beside the bathroom on the right, and with the said staircase at its left.

Then obligatory test of courage came after, although it wasn’t really so much of that. We just opted to pass through the unlit, dark corridors on our way to the lobby, instead of going through the parking lot.

We were practically the only students left in the building. Even the graduate students were nowhere in sight. And it was raining very hard that it was already flooding outside the gates of CAS. So we waited for the rain to lighten, (?) and we had the whole building to ourselves. While waiting, we scratched the cats’ furs, tried to kill cockroaches…

Then I was stuck in traffic due to two cars crashing into each other, creating a road block; then there dinner at 22.00; then the obligatory Bakuman chapter to read; then the day-long-anticipated sleep. Gute nacht.

Tonight, before I leave, I give you a quote about Friday:

"For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while."
— Douglas Adams (The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time)

And the title, came from Andrea O'Connor.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Year III

2010-08-19T00:41:00.009+08:00

Random moments from college year one to present:

I stay so silent with your arms adjacent
And credits may soon roll away

We exercise democracy in our group, so we decided to choose which movie to watch via voting process.

Letters to Juliet - IIII
Toy Story 3 – III

Letters to Juliet probably won over Toy Story 3 because our waiting time is lesser if we choose the former. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch Toy Story 3? And for free!

So after lunch at Pizza Hut, we trooped down to the cinemas in Midtown to catch the vote-winning movie.

-

A couple of hours later, we were debating on whether to watch Toy Story 3, too. That very same day. And as is with democracy, we solved the problem in the way we knew how. We watched Toy Story 3 right after, with a bunch of DPSM teachers sitting a row behind us, and with Ana and her mother on our row after we run into them at the ticket counter.

Somehow it was more fun. :)

So what's the point in all of this
When you will never change

I was wolfing down my Chinese lunch-dinner – lunch at 17.00—when Tina, sitting across the table from me, received a phone call. From Renzy. Who stayed in school. After we left for Rob. After a free cut.

Oh no, BV.

And true enough, the call announced that our dear teacher had arrived and demanded that we attend his class. Or else.

Well, we didn’t. And as it turned out, the ‘or else’ meant that we were given a harder machine problem than the rest of the class.

If I never wake up in the morning
Would she ever doubt the way I feel

And here I am, lying on my side, my head tucked between my arms to shield my eyes from the early morning light, still an arm’s length away from going back to sleep while thinking of this post. I write it carefully in my mind, knowing that it probably will never make its way to my blog, and will die prematurely in my head, as have many others, because I often procrastinate nowadays at actually writing a post.

It's a surprise that this post has actually come to life. But it's probably because of the fact that it's a new month and according to my tradition, I have to post at least once a month. So after this, I won't be that much bothered to post another blog.

Anyway, I said in the introductory note, that this will be a collection of random scenes from my freshman years to this day, but somehow, all events posted above are coming from my third year, hence the title. I guess, I have to write something down for the other years too on a next post.

The picture is from the time we ate Japanese, not Chinese. Credits to Jan for the camera; I don't know who exactly took the photo. The camera's being handled by many hands.

More Credits: SpongeCola's Movie, Typecast's Will You Ever Learn?, Ronan Keating's If Tomorrow Never Comes for the bolded lyrics above.

Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Billionaire

2010-08-10T23:29:00.003+08:00

Artist : Travie McCoy
Song : Billionaire
Album : Lazarus

[Bruno Mars]
I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
buy all of the things I never had
uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
smiling next to Oprah and the Queen

[Chorus]
Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
for when I’m a billionaire

[Travis “Travie” McCoy]
Yeah I would have a show like Oprah
I would be the host of, everyday Christmas
give Travie a wish list
I’d probably pull an Angelina and Brad Pitt
and adopt a bunch of babies that ain’t never had sh-t
give away a few Mercedes like here lady have this
and last but not least grant somebody their last wish
its been a couple months since I’ve single so
you can call me Travie Claus minus the Ho Ho
get it, hehe, I’d probably visit where Katrina hit
and damn sure do a lot more than FEMA did
yeah can’t forget about me stupid
everywhere I go Imma have my own theme music

[Chorus]
Oh every time I close my eyes
I see my name in shining lights
A different city every night oh
I swear the world better prepare
for when I’m a billionaire
oh oooh oh oooh for when I’m a Billionaire
oh oooh oh oooh for when I’m a Billionaire

[Travis “Travie” McCoy]
I’ll be playing basketball with the President
dunking on his delegates
then I’ll compliment him on his political etiquette
toss a couple milli in the air just for the heck of it
but keep the fives, twentys (?) completely separate
and yeah I’ll be in a whole new tax bracket
we in recession but let me take a crack at it
I’ll probably take whatever’s left and just split it up
so everybody that I love can have a couple bucks
and not a single tummy around me would know what hungry was
eating good sleeping soundly
I know we all have a similar dream
go in your pocket pull out your wallet
and put it in the air and sing

[Bruno Mars]
I wanna be a billionaire so fricking bad
buy all of the things I never had
uh, I wanna be on the cover of Forbes magazine
smiling next to Oprah and the Queen

[Chorus]
I wanna be a billionaire so frickin bad!

Lyrics from: MusicJuzz

Video: YouTube

Commentaries to come later. :D

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Student's Prayer

2010-07-23T03:54:00.009+08:00

Come, Holy Spirit, Divine Creator,
true source of light and fountain of wisdom!
Pour forth your brilliance upon my dense intellect,
dissipate the darkness which covers me,
that of sin and of ignorance.
Grant me a penetrating mind to understand,
a retentive memory,
method and ease in learning,
the lucidity to comprehend,
and abundant grace in expressing myself.
Guide the beginning of my work,
direct its progress,
and bring it to successful completion.
This I ask through Jesus Christ,
true God and true man,
living and reigning with You
and the Father, forever and ever.

Amen.

So you must have guessed it: yes, I'm studying for an exam later today. For CMSC 137, in fact. It's 16.00-17.30. And look at the time! I have only 11 hours and 45 minutes left (it's 04.15 now). I haven't slept a wink. And I have classes at 10. I wonder if I'll be able to function effectively (but I have to!).

Anyway, I'm taking this exam pretty seriously since this is only my second exam this semester. My first was Math 121.1 (Differential Equations) where I think I did horribly (and maybe we're checking it later, but I hope not-- please Lord let it not happen). I'm still hoping that by some miracle I'd pass that exam... If I believe hard enough, would it happen?

I still have a lot more to say, but alas, I must go back to studying for I have long way to go.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

What a Girl Wants

2010-07-17T20:43:00.018+08:00

I want pizza, ice cream, French bread, green tea frappé, baked macaroni (with Italian sauce), yogurt, pork sinigang, shrimp sinigang, shrimp tempura, fruits, carrots, crepes, tacos...

I want to watch Inception, and Equus.

I want to get rich now!

I want to be a college scholar this semester.

I want to learn how to cook.

And I want a new laptop (a MacBook preferrably).

On a side note, I changed the background to a less conspicuous one. I like this better, I think.

And please excuse my lame writing. I feel lame right now, so yeah.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Nothing

2010-07-17T16:46:00.003+08:00

I'm not sure what to write yet. But July's already halfway through so I must write something. I have to write at least a post a month (and for the last three months I've sadly been able to achieve the least).

Oh, and I have also opened a new blog. A wordpress one. So I don't know if I'm going to abandon this blog soon, I've really grown attached to this place...

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

20 hours

2010-06-03T13:42:00.007+08:00

What: Hum II field trip
Who: Students enrolled in Hum II for Summer of AY 2009-2010 (including 22 BCS 08’s)
When: Saturday. May 15, 2010

Call time: 04.00 (hour 00)
Meeting place: CAS
Time of departure: 05.00

Hour -3.30 (23.30. Friday. May 14, 2010).
I received few enthusiastic text messages from my blockmates, SMS which basically boiled down to:

Time to sleep. Good night.
Must rise early tomorrow.
I can’t wait. I’m so excited.

For the next couple of hours, I slept.

Hour -00.30 (03.30. Friday. May 15, 2010) . It was a very pleasant early morning. It wasn’t very hot outside. The air wasn’t humid. It was a bit chilly; it was perfect.

Nikko-oniisan walked me to the jeepney stop. We exchanged small talk along the way. I really wanted to ask him how Camille-neesan is; unfortunately, we aren’t on that level of closeness yet.

He waited until I was safely aboard a jeepney that would take me to school. I travelled alone, like I always do, even at such an ungodly hour. I had already long decided that I love travelling more after the sun set.

Hour 00 (Supposed departure time) .When I arrived in school, there were already a handful of blockmates and Hum II classmates waiting for our transports’ arrival. While waiting, we took the opportunity for a bit—or a lot—of cam-whoring.

Some of us (JJ, Chester, Bev, Axel, Renz, Chessell—I’m sorry if I forgot the others—and I), ventured to leave the protective gates of the school to buy food from a nearby convenience store.

Hour 01. … still found us waiting for the blasted bus. The trip was obviously delayed. Ah, but no matter. We took a lot of photographs of ourselves with the deserted RH in the background.

Hour 01 and some 20-odd minutes. Alas, one bus arrived. And we were still waiting for the other bus to arrive.

Hour 03 (07.00) . Dan and Chester took the other bus. All other CS08’s are in the bus with the red curtains (Dan and Chester’s bus had blue ones).

We were on the road, finally.

Jan, Mik, Axel and I were seated on the second row from the front. Our friends occupied the last rows. A few minutes after our departure from school, people started looking for comfortable positions to sleep. It was rather quiet save for the upbeat mélange of old songs being played on the bus’s sound system.

So for the next hours, we heard The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, Abba on the bus and in our heads.

Hour 05. Supposedly, had things went as planned, had we departed on time from school, had there not been a fire near the South Super Highway in Alabang, we would have already been in Lucban an hour ago joining the locals in their festivities while walking, bathing in the early morning sunlight. However, in reality we were still aboard the bus, not quite nearing our destination yet. No thanks to the traffic the fire had caused. In the meantime, we were made to watch a film, Across the Universe—which is like Mama Mia to Abba, but this one is to Beatles.

Then after that a karaoke CD was played, but no one wanted to take the microphone, not even Sir.

Hour 07.49 (11.49) – Hour 13something (17something) . Finally, after almost eight hours (supposedly four) of travel, we arrived at Lucban, Quezon, at noon. The bus parked some meters outside the town so we were made to walk under the scorching sun to look for tricycles that will take us there.

Then we started walking along the town. The first house we saw was the Grand Prize Winner to the Pahiyas competition. Its façade was superb, very beautiful, and detailed. There was no doubt it would win.

So the rest of the walk was spent with me, Jan, Tina, Renzy, Fiona, and other blockmates we met along the way taking pictures of ourselves and the houses.

And we even get to eat Pancit Habhab at 7Php per serving. I must say, the vinegar that is used to flavor it is good. Om nom nom nom!

When we were spent not even half through walking the town, we waited at an almost-derelict church which we thought to be the main Church in that area. But there we found another one, a bigger, more impressive one right before we left the town.

We didn’t have a chance to eat at the local’s houses so we ate in a restaurant instead.

Hour 13-more-minutes (17.more-minutes) . After eating and purchasing souvenirs, we raced back to the where the bus was parked. For me, at least, it was a very intense moment, like something straight out of an adventure novel.

Hour 14 – Hour almost 20 (23.something-minutes) . Then it was bus ride all the way. We had the seating arrangement changed, so that now all Block 12’s were occupying the back half of the bus. Chester was now with us in the bus, having previously been in the other bus with Dan when we were on the way to Lucban. He sat beside me and used my back as pillow while he slept.

We ate nothing for dinner; the bus didn’t make a stopover. It did once, in a Shell station, but there were no near restaurants or carenderias around. But if you can consider yoghurt sticks and Chooba Choops as a meal, then maybe that’s our dinner.

After 21.00, we were all awake and actively taking pictures of ourselves inside the bus, talking, and laughing at nonsense.

Hour almost 20 (23.something-minutes) . We arrived at UPM almost three hours later than expected. We went home sorely beaten and drained.

But it was a very memorable 20 hours, which I probably won’t forget soon.

And thank you, CS08 for making my first-ever field trip a beautiful mess.

I was supposed to post this a day after the trip, but I wasn't in the mood to write. And I don't even know how to anymore. Ugh. T__T In the end, I managed to string a mess of paragraphs together after nearly three weeks. I fail.

[07/21/10 EDIT:] ~~And pictures will come later. The Internet connection's being a bitch right now.~~ Images courtesy of blockmates, specifically Fiona, Renzy, and Jan. Used with permission.

Money, School, and Other Whatnots

2010-05-01T14:36:00.006+08:00

After this post, I'm heading out to buy groceries. Something to eat for tonight, tomorrow, and Monday, plus some toiletries. Hopefully I can purchase them all in less than 200Php. (I only have roughly that amount in my pocket and ATM combined left. And since today's a Saturday, banks are closed so I can't ask my parents to send me money today. Boo.)

-

I am living alone this summer. My classes end at lunch, which is both very convenient and somehow bothersome. For the positive, I can go home early and have the rest of the day to myself. On the other hand, travelling during lunch, when the sun is at its peak, you know how hot and draining that can be.

Oh, but anyway, once I'm home, I'm home. I'm free to do whatever I want.

So, this summer I'm going to take my time off doing the following things, since I wasn't able to get a summer job:

1.Physics. Study. Ace it. Enough said.

2. Study Japanese seriously. I have decided to change my style of studying it. I have been doing it in the way the book Japanese for Dummies says I should, but when I came across this video, I thought I'd change to that since it makes more sense. I have to buy more materials to study too.

3. Practice writing with my left hand. Among doing other things with my left. And I've been doing it even when I'm in class. Ultimately, I am trying to become ambidextrous, or something close to it.

4. Learn to cook edible food. One that is at least not burnt. Or too salty.

-

My brother's been asking me over and over to watch Angel Beats. And too bad I just started watching Arakawa Under the Bridge and liked it better than Angel Beats.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Rain by SID (TV size)

2010-04-12T11:42:00.003+08:00

Romaji

yatto mitsuketa atarashii asa wa tsuki hi ga jama o suru
mukau saki wa tsugi janakute sugi bakari oikaketa

nari yama nai yosenai omoi detachi wa yurushite kure sou ni mo nai
soro soro ka na tesaguri tsukareta hoho o kattou ga kobore ochiru

ame wa itsuka yamu no deshou ka zuibun nagai aida tsumetai
ame wa doushite boku o erabu no tsutsumarete ii ka na

ame wa yamu koto o shirazu ni kyou mo furi tsuzuku keredo
sotto sashi dashita kasa no naka de nukumori ni yorisoi nagara

English
We've finally found the new dawn,
But time hinders us.
It's not the future that we turned towards;
all we pursued is the past.

These relentless memories won't stop ringing;
they don't seem to forgive me.
Isn't it about time? I feel my way through.
Tears of conflict brim and roll down my tired cheeks.

I wonder when will the rain stop?
It's been so cold for a long time.
Why does the rain choose to fall on me?
Should I lose myself in it?

The rain does not know how to stop;
it continues to fall as always.
While that, in this umbrella gently held out to me,
I snuggle towards the warmth.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Chamber Theater

2010-03-31T21:33:00.003+08:00

Block 12. After nang aming chamber theater performance kahapon. Habang kumakain sila ng Uno Cake- slash- advance birthday cake ng prof namin. Sayang walang picture ng cake bago siya atakihin ng mga gutom na monsters -- ang mga blockmates ko. (Sorry, walang kwenta ako magsulat ngayon; na-bobore na kasi ako.)

Hindi ko nalasahan ang cake. By choice naman, although nanghihinayang pa rin ako. Kaso matamis, at wala akong dalang maiinom sa mga panahong yun na pantanggal ng tamis, kaya hindi ko na tinikman.

Matamlay na ako pagkatapos pa lang ng chamber theater.

(to be continued...)

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"Have I gone mad?"

2010-03-09T00:19:00.009+08:00

Yesterday was the hottest day in the Philippines, I heard someone relay to me as-a-matter-of-factly. And it did feel that really. Awfully hot.

And maybe my mind's dried up at yesterday's extreme heat, that now I decided out of nowhere that I'm going to talk about my jeepney ride home. Nothing grand. Pretty uneventful, to uderstate it. But heck, I want to write about it. I adamantly insist.

Along with Rov and Ian, I exit the Robinson's Place Manila. We have just emerged from the Movie World where we watched Johnny Depp's Futterwacking when Alice finally slays the Jabberwocky on the Frabjous day. Yep, we have just come from watching Alice in Wonderland. Nice film. Go watch it. :)

(I think that's probably the last hanging-out-together we've got for the month. The last day of school is approaching quick. And we both know that comes with a dreaded pile of school requirements. And Exams. Ugh, exams.)

I walk tentatively to the first jeepney heading my place while I bid the other two goodbye, when it suddenly left. Without me. Apparently, it has already halued the maximum number of passengers it is allowed to carry. Too bad I have come too late. Tsk. Now I have to wait for a long time for the next jeepney that eased in to the loading/unloading area to fill.

I am the very first passenger of the next jeep. And promptly, I hand them my fare. Student fare: 6.00Php. And I move closest to the entrance to lean my head on the hardly cool metal of the jeepney's wall.

Hot night, I think. Just like yesterday. I don't even know if there is a difference between yesterday's and today's temperature. I feel the same kind of heat as yesterday. But if yesterday is the hottest day, as they say, then today can't be any hotter, can it? I fervently wish it isn't although virtually it makes no difference to me. It is just hot.

Passengers soon board the jeep. The second is a female. Thirty-ish, although I'm not quite sure. I doubt my abilities to tell people's age. Maybe I should've asked her. Next to her is a male, but he soon gets off, after realizing that he would have to wait a long time for the jeepney to fill. What an impatient man.

The next ones are all females. Are there really more females that males here in the country? I'll research that.

After the eighth female (myself included) has sat on the left side of the jeep, I feel really tired and close my eyes. What a day. Today's classes only cover a half-day; I should've been back in the house for lunch, but, ah, there are so many things to do, and we haven't even done everything right yet.

Man, I'm exhausted.

I count the footsteps of the people boarding the jeep, but I forget half-way what I am doing, and drop that without really intending to.

Then I am asleep. Or half asleep, more precisely. I open my eyes momentarily, only to have them shut back down a second later.

I know I make mental notes to do the laundy when I get to the house, do the CMSC 120 homework, and practice my lines for tomorrow's reader's theater performance. And I'm the lead character too. An awful lot of pressure. I still have to check my accent, too. Mine's becoming a horrible mix of whatever English and British.

At one point, when I open my eyes, I see that I'm already passing by the Church. But when I open my eyes later, I realize we are only yet to round the curve that leads us to the street with the Church. Quite far from the Chuch yet. That's exhaustion, for you.

It seems to me, my brain's short-circuiting.

And the next time I pry my eyes open, I am already so close to my street. But heck, I still want to sleep. This is so unfair.

If I remember correctly, however, I still get off the jeepney, walk to my place, then collapse on my bed as soon as I walk into the bedroom. I am asleep. Just like that. With my school clothes on sans the shoes. And yes, I'm still donning my socks.

And I've been dreaming of card games ever since. Weird, much?

The title is a quote from the Mad Hatter. Alice in Wonderland, you know. Completely unrelated to this piece. :|

Also, I took the first photo, but of course, I'm no photographer as you can see. :) The Alice in Wonderland movie poster was Googled.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Time to begin.

2010-02-11T23:37:00.000+08:00

Right now, I am trying to think of what to do next. Should I wait for him to finish using the Internet, or should I just ask to use the Internet for a while?

Well, it’s his connection. He pays for it monthly—among many other things, while I am only a free-lodger. Besides, currently, as I glance at his computer screen, he is streaming a video—a Naruto episode—and I don’t think it’s wise to pull out the Internet halfway.

But I only need it for a short while. Not more than ten minutes, I suppose. I simply need to retrieve our project from my email account. Without those files, there is nothing more I can do.

This morning, I woke up at 9.00. Tita had arrived. She came for my cousin’s birthday tomorrow.

Next week, I will have to treat my whole Math 75 lab class a half-gallon of ice cream. They’ve asked for the flavors Double Dutch, Vanilla, and Rocky Road. Here’s how it happened:

Earlier in Math 75 lab class…

Weng-sensei: Pagpasado ka sa last exam, ililibre mo ako ng ice cream. (At this point, I was thinking, ‘Okay, isang ice cream lang naman.’)

Me: (unsure) Sige.

Then, we shook hands.

Weng-sensei: O class, manlilibre si Pat ng half-gallon ice cream ‘pag pasado siya. (Hala, naging half-gallon? And for the class na?!)

Weng-sensei: % one gallon % (percent is for wildcard, but blah-blah-blah works fine there too.)

Me: Sabi niyo half-gallon lang ah.

Weng-sensei: Sige, half-gallon.

Or at least something close to that has been said.
Anyway, I have found out that I indeed passed the exam so I have to treat them.
You must think it is foolish of me to actually bet against a teacher – and the teacher who checked my exam papers, at that—but I have my reasons. I don’t mind what’s at stake anyway. :)

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

BCCS 08 Batch ID

2010-02-05T12:13:00.004+08:00

I wonder if I should be posting this here. Anyways, the BCCS 08 batch ID:

And I am so proud of the people who made this. You guys are the best. :)

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Of Novels and Stories of Love

2010-01-29T01:04:00.004+08:00

With January drawing to a close, I am fairly disappointed to find that I haven’t fulfilled my only, lone, solitary New Year’s resolution, that is ‘to finish reading at least a single book, every month.’

I tried. I really did.

On the first week of January, I have started to read, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, which I have begun to read once before. And like that time, I still haven’t completed it. I stopped at the very same place I ended last time—chapter 5.

Then Aura let me borrow her book entitled Chinese Cinderella. I started to read it, but by the middle of the book, I so hated it that I almost set it to flames. I only remembered just in time that it isn’t my book.

And how could I hate a book, you ask? One reason: there’s this character, the protagonist’s stepmother, who is being a bitch of a stepmother that I so wanted to spit on her face. She is a horrible person (it’s an autobiography, actually). And worse so that she’s being mean for no particular reason. If she has ever given a single reason for her being nasty, I would’ve probably bought that, and not get so pissed—but she has none, and thus not excused from my temper. If I were the protagonist, I would’ve them—the stepmother and real father—thrown to jail for being so awful to me! Hah!

So now, I’m reading this book father lent me, The French Lieutenant’s Woman. This book is supposedly so good that it is even included in Time’s All-Time 100 Best Novels. Well, let’s see about that.

I’m a complete sucker for love stories. But not just any love story; I’m not that shallow.

I like it when there’s so much passion, bordering to madness.

And stories where love does not conquer all.

A tragic ending is optional. Once in a while, I do enjoy happily-ever-afters.

Most of all, the novel must provoke an in-depth contemplation of whether love at that level, intensity is still healthy or must be avoided at all cost. And if it’s the latter, how?

Yes, how do you avoid falling in love?

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Tempest in a teapot

2010-01-25T22:05:00.003+08:00

I pushed them away, the people who mean much to me—scorned at them, shooed them, asked them to leave me alone, among many others. I ignored my friends almost all day. Though when they asked me if anything was wrong, I’d been quick to flash them a cursory smile and reply—“none.” Then the smile, as would everything temporary, would be gone the next second.

Really, I wasn’t angry. No one wronged me, I swear. But if anyone at all must be held accountable, then it should be me. (I am sorely tempted to say, “It’s not you; it’s me,” that over-used breakup line.)

You know what my problem was? Really, it was a simple, silly, silly, simple, silly, simple, simple thing. A tempest in a teapot, I daresay. I would actually want to laugh at the childishness of it all, except that I was taking it seriously at that time.

You see, the reason why I kept my distance and alienated them to me is this: I felt awfully dirty. Literally. I’d been in school since 9.00, and I’d perspired some times—most heavily when Tina, Chester, Trixe and I ran all the way from UCC Terrace Café on the Midtown Wing to CAS on Padre Faura. That journey of many blocks exhausted me, and I was drenched in sweat after. To make things worse, I changed bags today, and left the spare clothes I always, always bring in the other bag!

I can’t possibly hug them even when they demanded one from me, nor take pictures with them and risk getting too close. Ugh. I really envied them; today could’ve been one long photo op.

T.T

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Cards

2010-01-20T14:45:00.002+08:00

I am smitten—I know that as a fact. Or what else can explain this almost-painful thumping of my heart, this sudden pooling of heat on my cheeks, this goofy urge to smile whenever I see him?

So the cards must be lying. My Fortune does.

The cards say, as they lie seemingly harmless on the cafeteria table, “you do not hold the torch for this person, and neither does he on anyone.”

Is that true? Then, those sensations— the racing of the heart, the blushing, the goofy grinning—are they things I am forcing myself to feel?

Absolutely not.

The cards are lying. That is not my Fate.

For really, it is the other way: I adore him… so much.

This post will undergo a number of transformations, I think. I'm still unsatisfied with the way it is written. Hopefully, it will change for the better.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Pros and Cons

2010-01-12T17:48:00.000+08:00

23 hours and 13 minutes before the Math 75 lecture exam.

Am I doing the right thing? Or should I stop this before it’s too late?

Status Quo. I invite my friends Jan, Ian, Tina, and Rovina over to my cousin’s house (the place where I stay) to study for tomorrow’s Math exam. It’s an overnight review session.

My classes are over a good thirty minutes ago. Rovina’s, Jan’s, and Ian’s will end at 19.00. Jan, however, cannot join us, not unexpectedly. Ian, although he has classes, has not yet come to school. And I have just seen Tina off to her home, but not before instructing her to plead to her parents to let her go. She tells me not to count so much on her appearing tonight at my place.

Currently, I am waiting – for everything to happen. And turning over a few sour thoughts in my head since my friends left.

Is this even right?

Or should I leave now and study on my own instead?

Cons. Even though he has already agreed to this, Mern-nii, whether he voices it or not, will be inconvenienced by this arrangement. At the very least, he will feel alienated in his own house. And that’s not something I like to happen.

The sands of time are continuously pouring, and as I wait and write this, there are only 23 hours and 9 minutes before the exam starts. Instead of waiting, I should probably be making good use of them.

I have organized this group study mainly for my own benefit (more of this later, on the pros part)—I am aware of that. What I do not know is whether my friends will gain from it as much as I would. I really hate to bring them down.

Pros. My friends, they’re an intelligent bunch. That’s why I have to study with them; I motivation—challenge—to perform up to par with them.

The sleepover is the best part of this experience. Just the fact that I’m having my friends over for the night—it’s supposed to be fun. (This is also the reason why they insist on coming, I bet.)

Now, however, there is no turning back. I have already decided that the group study will happen. We will just have to make the most out of it.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"Even if he goes to the edge of the world, there will no place he can stay. Because he's my son."

2009-12-19T18:57:00.005+08:00

Tadaima.

I’ve been home only for 13 hours—arrived in Naga at 5.00 via bus.

They haven’t been expecting me; they thought I was arriving tomorrow instead. So they are mildly surprised when I appeared at the doorstep 6.00 today.

And here are random conversations I had which each of them, so far:

King: Morning, you creep!

Raph: ‘Yun. Tapos dinala nila ‘yung mga archeons sa ISS—International Space Station. Then, may isa dun, ‘yung malapit sa mga experiment nang daga nag-expand.. dahil walang pressure sa outer space, di ba? Nagfloat siya, tapos kinain ng lab rats.

Tapos na ang chapter one, chapter two naman.

Papa: Basahin mo ‘yung French Lieutenant’s Woman. Or ‘yung Death of a Schoolboy. Harry Potter?

Me to Mama: Bading ka po Mama.

And right now, we’re watching the Discovery Channel. Something about Hatchepsut. :S

And this post's title came from the Killua Zaoldyeck's father (HunterxHunter). He meant that no matter where in the world Killua went to, he is always bound to return home.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Why can’t I stop being so fucked up in the head?

2009-12-18T16:54:00.003+08:00

Had I posted the first version of this narrative, it would’ve ferried me directly to hell with the all the sacrilege contained in it.

I’ve done a few sorting out of my emotions, and hopefully I should sound more reasonable and unbiased now. Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird) once said, "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it,"—and I did just that, I think.

Rovina. 6.45. R. Papa Station.

I’ve been waiting for forty-five minutes—where in the world could she be? And I woke up pretty early, too! Why, oh, why can’t she be early even just this once?

She could be worried or irritated or both. Sometimes, she would pace the platform, at other times lean on the railings. Then, Jan and his father would come and Rovina would tell them that Patricia, that late-comer, was still as late as ever.

Patricia. 7.10. Blumenttrit Station.

What time are we supposed to meet anyway? Am I too late? Is this even the right place? But I’m pretty sure, I’m supposed to be in an LRT station. Rovina could’ve only gone by the train.

My fingers are starting to hurt from holding these paper bags. This is why I always travel light.

I’ve kept my eyes open for Rovina and Jan’s dad on every LRT station along the way, but saw neither—not even in this station.

So, I resolved to wait for ten minutes. If I don’t see any block 12, I would return to D. Jose, and head straight to Katipunan station.

Patricia 7.30. Blumenttrit Station.

The three trains that passed heading to Monumento were all fully packed, and I was even in the Female Area.

Please let the next train to D. Jose be miraculously empty. Please; there are no more space for my backpack and paper bags.

Ms. Staring-at-me-across-the-train. 8.00. LRT2 train to Santolan.

Could she have been crying? But she looks standoffish still.

My eyes stung, and tears threatened to spill. I kept my gaze beyond anyone sitting before me, onto the window. The clouds were growing grey.

Mr. Guard-of-the-Katipunan-Station-South-Entrance. 8.30. Katipunan Station.

Did that girl even understood the instructions I gave her, anyway? She looked like she was spacing out.

It was my first time in that place, but I knew I wasn’t lost. I could easily make it back to my house. I just couldn’t what I was looking for.

Camille-neesan. 11.00. House.

I really don’t understand what she’s crying about. But a pat always helps.

Patricia. 11.00. House.

Am I being childish crying over a Christmas party?

But I can’t help it, the tears keep falling anyway. At least, I’m indoors now, I can let it fall freely. I must’ve looked like a total idiot earlier, crying as I walk.

I hate this day.

And I want so badly to blame someone for ruining my day. Note though: it’s only 11.00—today’s barely halfway through. But I’ve had enough; those four long hours exhausted me enough to sleep for the rest of the day.

Just let me sleep. Let me forget that it is my fault that I couldn’t attend the freaking party anyway. It was my fault I didn’t get my phone fixed. It was my fault I didn’t ask my cousin to please let me use to internet to log-in to my facebook account yesterday. It was my fault that I didn’t ask for the resort’s name in the first place. It is my fault for waking up at 5.00 instead of 4.00. It was my fault. My bad.

Why can’t I stop being so fucked up in the head?

I tell you, this post doesn’t cover half the agony I felt all the while.

When I tried to walk under someone else’s skin, I must’ve still been biased. So when you walk under mine, I still doubt you’d feel the entirety of my emotions still.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Sunrise

2009-12-14T17:02:00.004+08:00

I turned over and tried to sleep again but couldn’t and so lay on my back looking at this gray burlap sky. Very gradually, like one instrument after another being tentatively rehearsed, beacons of color began to pierce the sky. The ocean perked up a little from the reflection of these colored silvers in the sky. Bright high lights shone on the tips of waves, and beneath its gray surface I could see lurking a deep midnight green. The beach shed its deadness and became a spectral gray-white, then more white than gray, and finally it was totally white and stainless, as pure as the shores of Eden. Phineas, still asleep on his dune made me think of Lazarus, brought back to life by the touch of God.

A Separate Peace by John Knowles (Chapter 4)

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Define random.

2009-12-08T07:59:00.002+08:00

It’s the third time I tried to write this post. The past two trials I have discarded for they were too nondescript. My writing style hasn’t improved a bit; the thought makes me want to whimper.

I have nothing important to say, actually, but I felt the urge to write all of a sudden. Perhaps, it’s because I was reading a new book—Harper Lee’s To Kill a Mockingbird. Starting with a book always gives me that yearning to also pen an equally pleasant literature of my own.

So now, I settle with writing about some completely random thoughts I had for the past three weeks.

Date/ Time: Does Not Matter

It’s been a year, hasn’t it, since I started hanging out with them. Now that I think about it, we don’t have an exact anniversary date. Not like our high school gangs and crews that required celebrating founding anniversaries. Who cares anyway how long we’ve been together? All I know is that we’ll be with each other till forever. For me, that alone is worthy of a celebration.

Date/ Time: Some Saturday

Toss here, turn there, draw the blanket above my head, clap my hands on both my ears, grunt, cover my head with a pillow, and turn the other way—that’s what I’ve been doing for the last thirty minutes I’ve been trying to sleep.

A growing kid like me needs my sleep: my body yearns for a peaceful sleep, yet my mind forbids me from doing so. It’s been echoing a single song for the whole half-hour. And it doesn’t help my case that the same song is actually playing on repeat on my cousin’s iPod.

I vaguely remember the song to be one of my recent favorites—but I deeply loathe it now.

Date/Time: Forgotten

I want a new laptop. But it’s not exactly something that can be bought on a whim—especially by a jobless kid like me. And I cannot burden my parents over it anymore. That is an inconsiderate demand; my old laptop is still working. At this time of crisis, I should be helping them generate more money for the family than throw it away for my own selfish needs.

Date/ Time: Tonight

For I understand that fear is a manifestation of lack of trust in God, I resolved not to be afraid anymore. But upon hearing that my tita is arriving on Wednesday, I cannot help but be terrified. Gravely terrified.

So help me, God.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

I am weird.

2009-11-29T13:50:00.001+08:00

I am weird.

I am studying the situation in Myanmar seriously. I’ve been reading articles about it from the New York Times website.

I am studying the International Humanitarian Laws. I’ve downloaded various pdf’s explaining the basics of these laws.

I’m taken with poetry. Mostly Pablo Neruda’s and my old love Edgar Allan Poe’s.
And Niccolo Machiavelli’s The Prince, I’ve been reading it too.

I’ve also read various articles about international issues, especially those concerning the relations of countries.

They are so fun to study. Really.

Oh, and I’m taking the Japanese language seriously this time.

And of course, my usual school stuff. :D Physics is ok, math is ok, speech is ok, CMSC subjects are ok, and PE is fun. I think I like this semester. :D

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

That’s why; I don’t want to meet him.

2009-11-24T12:03:00.002+08:00

I saw him today, waiting beyond the gates of the school, peering curiously past the railings—past me—seeming to look for someone. And he must have waved when he saw who he was looking for, but I had averted my gaze by then; I didn’t want to see him. Or more like, I didn’t want him to see me, to even notice me.

My heart still pounds against my chest whenever I see him. I’m glad it still hasn’t changed. It could be uncomfortable at times, but it was my only way of knowing I am still with an inspiration, I still know how to hope.

But why do I hope? I know I don’t want to meet him in the first place. I’ve been presented with numerous chances to talk to him, to be formally introduced by a friend, to be his friend, but always, always I run away when it gets close to happening. Somehow, I can’t. I don’t want to.

I think, I’m afraid, that when I do meet him, and grow friendly with him, this feeling would be lost. Probably I’d think of him no more than a friend. I would probably want to stop there. Be contented of his friendship.

That’s why; I don’t want to meet him.

I want to become a better writer. So, anyway, I might tweak my blog posts a bit so that it becomes more heartfelt and catchy (I think). But whatever.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

A Someone so dependable.

2009-11-13T12:50:00.004+08:00

A phone call that doesn’t get through.

A sink clogged with grime and grease.

A soup too salty.

These were the things that made her head ache dully, along with the shrill falsetto sounding from her iTunes. Promptly, she hit the next button, and after a few seconds of silence, a random R&B song started playing.

“How do I breathe...” sounded her player, beginning a whole three-something minutes of self-pitying song.

And while How Do I Breathe by Mario was playing, she was also wallowing in her own head.

How do I breath, indeed, when my chest feels truly heavy as though it’s about to explode? I’m so sick of this feeling. Why can’t I do anything right, even when I try so hard to make it perfect? Are all my efforts never recognized?

A phone call that couldn’t get through.

She’d been trying for three days to call her mother’s mobile phone but all she could her from the other end was a series of cold beeps, and the line would strangely cut. Naturally, she didn’t want to think too much of her mother’s lack of response or her inability to, but when three freaking days had already passed with her mother still not communicating, how could she not worry?

And now she finally understood why her parents get so mad at her when she doesn’t reply to their text messages for days on end.

A sink that was clogged with grime and grease.

It was probably her fault that the sink clogged, but she would not admit entirely to it. Before she set to wash the dishes yesterday night, bits of rice had already been dumped in the sink so that when she turned on the faucet, the bits of rice fell into the drain. No doubt they were probably what caused the clogging.

As she was washing the dishes this afternoon, the water in the sink won’t go down anymore. And it was filled with oil too because included in the pile she was to wash, was a frying pan.

A soup too salty.

It was a common knowledge that she couldn’t cook. It wasn’t that she hadn’t tried, because she really did loads of times, but she was still a complete failure. But of course, in the first place, she didn’t like cooking, so what else could you expect?

Tonight, she tried to make another dish, after days of not having held a ladle. Yes, merely days passed yet all knowledge of cooking had been sucked out of her as if she had never been trying to learn at all. Tonight, though, she wanted to just surprise everybody with a deliciously cooked meal.

But maybe it was better if she never tried.

When she tasted her soup, it wasn’t edible—unless you would fancy living with a damaged liver for the rest of your life.

In the end, it was a waste of time, waste of energy, waste of money, waste of ingredients.

She shouldn’t have thought of trying.

So, how then, can I change this fate?

The answer is: she didn’t have to.

She didn’t even have to worry, for worrying will only deepen the worry lines on her otherwise smooth face. All she had to do was take it easy, and trust that everything will come out right.

And when she did just that, she received an email from her mother, fresh from work, explaining that she never got her messages in the first place. Also her dear older cousin arrived in time to unclog the sink, and make another warm soup.

All she needed to do was trust in Someone so dependable.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"If you are in pain, you are still alive."

2009-11-09T03:13:00.004+08:00

3.30. Living Room.

Good night, Mama. Good night, me.

This carpet is a little hard against my back, but no matter, sleep is inevitable at this time of day. And I think I just heard the rustle of Mr. Sandman’s pyjamas; he has been waiting here for hours. I’m sure he’s here to entirely extinguish this flame of consciousness and alertness I have left.

So good night again, Mama. This camping in the living room that we are doing is a bit weird.

Good night, Papa. You shouldn’t be sleeping yet, but heck, you need it.

Good night dear Paeng and Iking. It’s almost time for you to rise soon.

Ah, and good night sun-sama. Please don’t arrive yet—I know it’s already time for you to come up, but please, please, let me sleep and enjoy the dark for the time being.

12.00. Dentist’s Clinic.

I think I didn’t here that correctly, Sensei. Did you just say slice? You mean might tooth?! *gulp*

-

I think I’m dying, Sensei. It hurts, really. And I am not one to tolerate pain to begin with. I feel like crying right now. If only I could, I really would… I hope we could stop. Please.

-

My face must be really awful, eh, Sensei? You even thought to ask me if I was alright. Of course I’m not! But carry on, it’s your duty, and that’s why I pay you, right? So, even if I don’t want to say this, even though I might be lying, yes, I’m alright, Sensei. And go ahead, slice right through my tooth again. But I’m not sure I won’t make a face.

They’re right: time does not heal wounds; it only makes you used to it. And I think that’s what I’m experiencing right now. I think my gums are numb. All this pain, and it is intensifying—I can hear the sound of the blasted thing Sensei is holding against my tooth become more sinister, dangerous—but, for the love of all things holy, I can’t feel it! Perhaps I’m pretty much used to the pain by now. It’s been—what?—ten minutes since she started slicing my tooth, and thank heavens I’m still alive!

15.00. Bedroom.

I think I’m dying. Really. But I can’t. I have many things in my life that I still want to fulfill…

Ugh. It’s the time of the month again. It’s at times like this that I dislike being a girl. But when I think of it, if I wasn’t a girl, I wouldn’t be interested in Sherlock, and that would be unthinkable. So no, I have to endure this no matter what! Fight-o!!~

It’s during this time I remember to be thankful to my parents. Mama, for stroking my arms and telling me it’s alright, and Papa for searching a cure for the pain. But really, who needs reasons. I’m simply thankful to them for so many things.

And to God, I’m always thankful, for He brings me home when I’m in pain, surrounding me with people who love me and care for me. That, and for, of course, relieving me of the pain afterwards.: ))

I’m pretty whiny, aren’t I? At least, like this, I can appreciate better the pain that Jesus Christ went through during His passion. I think it’s not the nails that hurt Him the most, not even the crown of thorns, but it’s the sins that we did that pained Him most of all.

But when I think about it, the crown of thorns I surely can’t bear without crying, would I be able to save humanity with that? I think only Jesus cares enough to do that.

These are the things I'll miss, since I'll be leaving again later this evening.

Title quote from Hiei (Yu Yu Hakusho).

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Most Unproductive Post

2009-11-03T10:53:00.006+08:00

Three days into the ten-day break, I am still as unproductive as ever. But if you count watching numerous anime episodes as productive, then scratch what I first said.

So far, I watched four episodes of Kimi ni Todoke, five episodes of Nyan! Koi, one-half episode of Umineko no Naku Koro ni, three episodes of Hayate no Gotoku!, and one episode of Kobato. That, and this week’s Hagane no Renkijutsushi (2009) episode—the thirtieth—and its first OVA release.

Also, I saw concert DVDs with my family. Yesternight was that of Eric Clapton and last Saturday night, it was Santana’s.

Then Sunday night we watched You Don’t Mess with a Zohan on HBO.

Probably the only productive things I've done were play chess with my younger brothers -- 12 & 8--wash the dishes, sweep the floor, and read A Separate Peace by John Knowles.

All animes mentioned can be found in animeseason.com.
Concert DVD covers are Googled.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Define optimism.

2009-10-28T06:59:00.003+08:00

Talked to Mama and Papa last night on the phone. They read my second to the last blog post, it seems and Mama's a teeny bit worried. Asked if I was alright, and if my phone (which was acting out for a couple of days) was fixed. I knew I was okay, I don't know about my phone, though. It was working perfectly yesterday- today, who knows? Ah, such a fickle-minded little Naoki (my dear mobile phone's name-- it's an anagram of its brand :P).

Yea, I was alright already. The CS 123 exam turned out just as I expected it to be. And I studied real hard for it. Really, really hard. I hope, I pass the subject No, scratch that, I know I'll pass the subject. "I got a feeling, that tonight's gonna be a good, night..."

And need I say more that my life plan obviously doesn't include me failing any subject? I have written explicitly that I will graduate a regular student. :D

Ok, so this post is mainly a thank You post for the Divine Hand that made the impossible possible. Yes, Father, thank You so much. :D

And I hope You don't mind me asking for another favor, do You, Father? Anyhoo, I dedicate my passing of today's Chem 14, 14.1 exams and the back-to-back (yes, two) defense on CS 22. I hope I defend that Machine Problem correctly. I can't afford to let Axel (my MP partner) down.

But where else will I get the strength to reach for those victories, but from the Father Himself.

TQ!! , Father.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

With the all-nighter staple

2009-10-26T02:01:00.008+08:00

Awesome, my y!messenger contacts are still wide awake, probably cramming for tomorrow's exams, like I am.

I may be fully awake, but I can't concentrate on reviewing. My mind's elsewhere: there during the time I lost my precious exclusive-to-Math-74 notebook, there in the time that I learned the news of failing the CS 123 exam yet again, there at the time when I went home for summer vacation, there when I was watching the newest episodes of Hagaren, Glee, and Gossip Girl. My mind is everywhere, but here. Ugh, screw that.

Patricia, snap out of it, for pete's sake! There's only -- what?! -- 5 hours before the freakin' Math exam. OAO Now, concentrate!!

You're forgetting why you're doing this all-nighter. You're forgetting that you can't fail any subject. You're forgetting the reason you're doing all these. You're straying from the path you vowed to take. Agggggh.

For the last time, study!!

You can't just let the coffee go to waste. The heaven-sent coffee. For the love of coffee.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"No matter what happens, after you cry, then you face the problem better."

2009-10-24T22:50:00.010+08:00

The thing Tina told us in her agitated speech, I could not understand them. I didn’t know whether it was because she said it in a rush, or my mind just constructed a semi-penetrable barrier against what she just announced.

I continued to sing, although in the middle of the song, my enthusiasm died out. My classmates’ depression over the news was getting to me, although I wasn’t depressed yet myself.

And I sang:

I’ll fix these broken things,
Repair your broken wings,
And make sure everything’s alright...

-
-

This was the news: 13 people failed the CS 123. Apparently, I was included in that unfortunate group, having only graced 40% average for both lecture exams.

Tidbit 2: Sir had agreed to give a finals examination. It may be the only chance to redeem our below passing scores.

And so, at first I was alright with it. I was determined not to fail. Failure is not an option, as the cliché goes.

I put on a happy face, for at that moment, I was still not worried—although not entirely happy.

Jan and Rov chatted about their target grades for a while. They both need to have at around 80% in the next exam to score a 60% average. But when I finally thought about it, what I needed was a complete 100% in the finals to get 60% mean score.

Rov, I didn’t know why she did it, suddenly put her arms around me, and right then and there, I started to cry. I felt the pressure all of a sudden. It came exploding in my head; I wrestled with different possibilities while I cried. It occurred to me that I might fail the subject, while there was a part of me that patted myself and told me not to worry about it.

I didn’t know how long I cried. I surely soaked Rov’s sleeves with my tears.

But it was refreshing, and my head was miraculously clear after that. I was sorry I wet Rov’s clothes, but like wise thankful that she let me borrow her shoulder for a while.

(And we were in a mall! Right at the entrance.)

Rov was also right. Nothing is impossible with God.

So now, I thank God for His miracles, for my friends, for my family I won’t let down, for that moment, for the chance to have the finals, for the air that I breathe, for the mushroom soup I sipped, for the inspiration, for the strength, for the time he said: “Call on me in times of trouble; I will rescue you, and you will honor me.”…

Father, please; thank You; I love You; I’m sorry; thank You.

Kurogane (Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles) for the title,
Maroon 5 for song lyrics in This Love,
and God in Psalm 50:15 for the Bible verse.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"Be a Do-It-Now person."

2009-09-26T13:11:00.006+08:00

I'm watching anime when I shouldn't be right now.

There's the second CS123 lecture exam on Monday, Math 101 research paper, Chemistry lectures I missed and must now study in case there is a pop quiz on Monday... Laundry asking to be done... House screaming to be cleaned...

But then there's also the awesome Bakemonogatari that keeps me hooked, Tokyo Magnitude 8.0 asking to be downloaded, Hunter x Hunter waiting to be burned in DVD, His and Her Circumstances burned for me by my sensei... The possibilities are endless...

Plus, there's also an angsty AsuCaga fanfiction idea running around in my head for days now, begging me to finally pen it..

-
-

So here's what I thought I'd do: get off the computer, but keep it open, downloading anime episodes I am keen to watch. Right now, I must tend to the laundry, and make this house neat. Later tonight, I am going to study, and while taking breaks, I can watch the anime episodes I downloaded.

The fanfic will have to wait for later. Besides, I already have a rough draft of how the story goes in my mobile phone.

Sounds like a good plan?

-
-

And I can't resist putting an image of my current favorite anime on this post:

I started watching the series last Thursday... Right now, I'm downloading the 5th episode, but I cheated and watched the last episode first. It was such a cute fluff of an episode. Gave me the toothache.

Title comes from a Facebook application I took. It was the advice the AI gave me. Perfectly works for me though, despite it being random...

Also, image was only Googled.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

Count no man happy till he dies.

2009-09-13T01:03:00.007+08:00

It's 1:00. Sunday. A new week. Thank God.

The past week was pretty miserable, that's why I'm very thankful it's finally a new week, then I'd get to start over.

Monday was pretty much okay-- there are no classes.

Tuesday started lame. It was raining so hard, our professor who is always late arrived even later than usual. But he did arrive still-- that is the unfortunate part. He still had the opportunity to taunt my program. Someday his sarcasm will-- er, I honestly don't mind what his derisive nature would do to him.

Also, in my mind I knew I could have reported better, so the thought is slightly disappointing.

Perl-sensei's birthday surprise turned out anything but surprising. Again, that was just irritating. Although it was nice that she enjoyed what we made for her.

Wednesday was rainy as usual. I heard there is a typhoon so it isn't odd for it to rain that hard, nonetheless, the mood is generally gloomy when it is raining. It's annoying. But at least I got to see Mama that afternoon. It cheered me up greatly. :3

That night, Tina-- on a spur-of-the moment decision-- stayed with us in the house. She worked until morning -- 6am the next day for the CS123 homework.

Later that Thursday in school, Chester already managed to finish the parsing our xml document, which now put a lot of pressure on me since I'm the only one in our group not yet done with the my part of the machine problem.

Friday. Is Always Math day. I got only 26 out of 30 for the Math 74 lab exercise. Duck. And the problem set was very hard for a nutter like me.

And my cousin arrived with her boyfriend. And she kept ignoring me as per usual.

I broke a glass from the window pane. Only I know about it yet.

I was just plainly miserable last week. But not to worry. I know how to still count my blessings.

I'm still breathing, and that by itself is a miracle I'm grateful of. I can still correct the wrongs I did in the past, and never do them again.

Our plans for Perl-sensei's birthday pushed through. Never mind that it wasn't anymore a surprise.

Sir 22 didn't come to class. I don't think it was a good thing, but it's a breather.

My mother came to see, did she not? I miss my family, but that just goes to show they miss me as much. I love all of them: Mama, Papa, Paeng, and Iking. And Polgas ii.

We did not check our Chem 14 exam yet, because if results were given last week I wouldn't hope for much. It's a twisted logic I know, but this week I feel more confident.

At least I did get a 26 out of 30. I thought it should be lower, but sir was so kind.

My friends genuinely tried to help me with the problem set. I just love them.

My cousins are gone for now. I can study freely, at last.

Title is a proverb, which means, you cannot tell if a person's life has been happy on the whole until that person's life is over; no matter how happy someone is now, something bad may happen to destroy his or her happiness. (thefreedictionary)

Or the other way around.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"There's no way, there's no way."

2009-09-04T09:58:00.002+08:00

Another couple of months left to the end of the semester. Thank God.

But I have a few more things I must sort out before the semester ends. A few goals to set, to make sure I go home for the short vacation in Bicol free of unnecessary burden.

Pass both departmental exams left in Chem 14 with at least 70% average. And the Finals too.
Pass the next Chem 14.1 exam with at least 70% rating.
Pass all exams in my CS subjects. Submit all MP’s and exercises.
Pass my Math exams. Do better in my Math 74 lab exam—also 70% at least of average.
Do well in Psych. Not flunk PE.

It’s time to get serious. No more fooling around.

I hid my last post. Not because I’m scared of being found, or guilty of what I’ve written—those are the least reasons I count. I merely do not want to descend to the level of that --insert whatever here--, badmouthing him like he did his colleague.

Title by Greed (Hagane no Renkinjutsushi- 2009).

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

2009-08-26T11:18:00.007+08:00

I don’t care what you do. Force drop, fail me if you like, I couldn’t care less.

Actually, I’m begging you – please fail me— then I’d never get to see your smug face.

Go on, keep mocking me. You have perfect liberty to. No one’s stopping you.

Waste your time gloating at me. They’re music to my ears.

Keep me from doing my oral report. At least my precious breath isn’t wasted on your stupid requirement.

Mark me absent, even when I'm there. I think you need a new good pair of eyes.

Has nobody ever told you, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned”?

-
-
Never expect me to respect you. You are no respectable man. You would badmouth your colleagues as no one in their respectable mind would.
-
-
Whatever. Do as you please.

It’s the last time I’m wasting brain cells bashing the smug you.

“But nothing can stay unchanged. Fun things... happy things… They can't all possibly stay unchanged. Even so, can you keep on loving this place?”

2009-08-21T22:50:00.006+08:00

Do I love the subject?

It is no exaggeration to say that it was my favorite subject. Seriously. I have no intention of sucking up to anybody, seeing that I lost that ability now—or even if I hadn’t I wouldn’t descend that low.

Never in my entire college life have I been eager to attend a subject, save perhaps Comm I during my first year. English is a part of me, hence the fondness for the subject. And I never really expected the same keenness to be developed for a ComSci subject. But it happened. And it’s almost as if CS 11, 55, and 21 never occurred. Believe it or not, I do love CS now (since I also like CS 126).

It is the first time I have ever felt I was good at something, thus making me more enthusiastic to do the activities. Never have I felt that for my previous CS subjects. All those times I felt so dumb really, but the current CS changed all that.

And have I been taking it for granted?

What a funny question to ask.

For my previous CS subjects, I almost never pass our scheduled activities. But I did submit something like 5 out of 11 activities, I think, give or take one. And I never even exerted effort on my MPs, like the time when I only made one out of the supposed five functionalities of the question bank: the display option. Yeah.

Now, am I taking the subject for granted? When I have managed to pass all the activities this time? When I am actually spending the weekend coding a program – that once I even forgot to go to Church working on the CS homework? When I never actually skipped a CS 22 class—unlike my CS 21 class which I used to skip many times? That in itself is an amazing feat considering my past records.

Am I feeling sorry for what happened?

Had I not, then this guilt should never have haunted me.

But seeing that it’s about to change, I don’t anymore know what to feel. I hope there is something that would make me still enthusiastic to perform my best, even when it’s not anymore fondness. A need to prove my worth, perhaps? Or not to waste the good start I’ve had.

It’s just good that I don’t see the need to find a new reason for now.

Clannad episode 1.

Furukawa Nagisa:
But nothing can stay unchanged.
Fun things... happy things…
They can't all possibly stay unchanged.
Even so, can you keep on loving this place?

Okazaki Tomoya:
Just find something.
Just find something new that’s fun or happy.
And I am so glad they were married. Okazaki Nagisa.

And the picture. It would’ve been nice if I could get the one where Nagisa first said that. But I don’t have a copy of it downloaded so that one up there is actually from the scene where Tomoya was already regretting ever talking to her first. That scene breaks my poor heart. TT_TT It gives me lots of water works each time I play it.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

“I'll do whatever I can, because I want to be here.”

2009-08-15T20:49:00.006+08:00

In a little more than two years’ time, I graduate BSCS, no less than a regular student. However, graduating with honors is now just a wishful thinking. I am graduating with majors on both Statistical Computing, and Health Informatics, with a single 4.00 in my transcript and no 5.00s. One 4.00 on my transcript left enough bad aftertaste to last me a lifetime; no one in their sane minds would wish for a 5.0. Before that appointed time, however, I earn a University or College Scholar standing –this semester.

I am taking up supplementary subjects in Math for me to earn a major in Mathematics, as a cross enrollee in UPD after finishing CS. Rovina seems to like the idea too, that she does likewise. But I can do it while working on my first job in no less than an international firm like Microsoft or HP.

The job offers high salary and numerous benefits, so that I am able to take care of my tuition, and that of my brothers’. 30% of that salary goes to foundations and the Church; the other 20% on various investments, like stocks and bonds, and the rest are for my family’s basic necessities.

I both franchise and start my own business. The food business never goes out of style, and being into pasta and ice cream, my food chain serves cuisines of that nature. Also, I have decided to make my love for anime a business: a shop that sells anime, manga, and related merchandise to cater to the needs of people who has the same tastes as I do.

I buy a house for my family with all the savings I gathered. A car and condominium for myself suffices. And I need nothing more than a laptop and a music player as luxury.

A vacation—detoxification— for the summer. Pilgrimage during the Holy Week.

In my 50s, I take out a few of my investments and start a foundation. At first, the foundation offer scholarships to poor yet deserving students. Then house street people, and hunt jobs for them, after we have been established in that aspect.

I make a firm—in collaboration with my block 12 friends. And I suggest that we hire the scholars—had they decided to pursue careers in Information Technology—and more jobless people.

Ultimately, the foundation sends health missions to Africa where they need all the help they could get. But that I know is something in a further future, although one that becomes reality in due time.

Should I die before the fulfillment of these dreams, I shall make sure my will is carried out. I don’t have to do it on my own. It is impossible to do it on my own. That is why, before that happens, I want to stage everything that is needed to accomplish the plan. Like have investments this early, so that when I’m not anymore here, funds still circulate.

More importantly, I shall have sown in the hearts of people who witnessed these efforts first hand the happiness it emulates to be able to help thy neighbor. I am expecting this mostly from the scholars.

And I want every person benefited by these works to PAY IT FORWARD. Do great for other people instead.

It’s a huge dream, I know, but never impossible.

I shall see it in its completion be I here on earth or passed on to Heaven.

And maybe if I do all these, a few moments of selfishness could be justified.

Like my own desire to be able to paint at least one Impressionist painting;

Play Mozart’s Piano Sonata in D+ for Two K.448,

See a live orchestra; Travel the world; Buy a house in Norway for my parents;

Produce a documentary film; Read every book I want; Watch Coldplay, U2, Maroon 5, Jason Mraz, The Fray, Rascal Flatts in live concert;

Play the violin; Buy a graphics tablet; A Ferrari car; A condominium building;

Write a book; Speak multiple languages, more than Filipino, English, and Bicol.

And a dslr camera.

And get married (to Sherlock), and have a son.

I’m crediting Kimihiro Watanuki (xxxHolic) for the title, which he said in Chapter 169. For Yuuko, to see Yuuko again, Watanuki wills himself to the the best he can with his latest client.

And have you noticed, I colored Watanuki's eyes wrong. It's supposed to be gold on the right and blue at the left. I interchanged the colors. I'll make sure it won't happen again. Or maybe I could edit the ones I've already posted.

Also, pardon me for the confusing, non-parallel verb tenses I used. Using the present tense in the first part sounded more absolute. While I didn''t think I could address my death (on the second part) with present tense, hence it was written in the future tense, as though it is a mere possibility. Or something I do not have to deal with at the moment.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

(bringit) Chem 14.1 exam.

2009-08-15T03:30:00.003+08:00

It's 3.30. And in 4 1/2 hours is my Chem 14.1 exam. I am never good at Chem, that at first I even doubted of I'll ever pass this exam. But I have reviewed as much as I can.

And God will do the rest. He sees the effort I am exerting. I am His favorite child (you are too, by the way) and I know in Him I'll never fail. I just know. :DD

So I'm going to sleep now, and my preparation for the exam is complete.

Yea, (bringit) I'm so going to pass Chem 14.1! And all my subjects.

- Father so sweetly tells us.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

"... so that we may learn to love"

2009-08-13T15:23:00.007+08:00

I was listening to my Jpop playlist, then the song Wana (first ending song of Kidou Senshi Gundam 00) by Black Horn played. And I just I love that song's lyrics:

Believe in kindness and forgive everything.
Share with others, understand each other, so that we may learn to love.

yasashisa wo shinji subete wo yurushite
itsukushimu you ni tada wakachiatte wakariatte

優しさを信じ　全てを許して
慈しむように　ただわかちあって　わかりあって

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

2009-08-11T11:46:00.002+08:00

Trust in the LORD with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge him,
and he will direct your paths.

Proverbs 3, 5-6

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

I can never do anything without You. Please and thank You.

GC mode.

2009-08-11T08:22:00.005+08:00

Today I declare: I am going to be GC.

For there are things in this world that I must do. And being GC is a means to an end. Therefore, I will not back out on this new-found commitment.

For the sake of the foundation I am going to create in the future… I must have money to fund various medical missions and other stuff my foundation is going to cover.

And for me to have that money, I must land on a good, high-paying job.

Which, in turn, is more attainable if my college grades are good.

That is why, now, I have to be GC for the sake of the future.

And all these are for Someone.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.
to a future that never ends.

“Even if it’s a dream, if people there are people who are believed, wished for, loved, then it will become reality.”

2009-08-11T07:58:00.004+08:00

There are a couple more dreams I want to narrate. But I’m not planning to turn this blog into a dream diary; it’s just that I found that these recent dreams I had are so vivid and realistic (at least parts of them, which are the only ones I will relate) that it’s hard to shake off even after two full days.

Also, more than anything I wish to practice writing as much as I can.

There was this sensei that I offended last week, about something I told her. I’m guilty as charged. Shoot me.

Dream 1. Equivalent Exchange.

It was a field trip. But when we arrived on the actual site we were to explore, I was feeling very bad that I excused myself and retreated to a rented cottage. I, however, did not know what part of me was sick: the physical or the emotional.

After a while I decided to get some fresh air and look for my classmates. I found them nearby walking towards to a ruined pillar. And when I caught up with them, they told me that sensei was waiting for me at the second pillar.

I left them, and went over to sensei, wondering why on earth she was looking for me. And when I found her she was crying. So I asked to be forgiven once again... But she wanted me to fulfill a condition before she could fully forgive me, she said. When I asked what it was, she led me towards the first pillar, where I came from.

There, a priest was waiting and a group of witnesses. He was holding a placard, saying ‘No more [sherlock' name here].’ So that was the condition: that I never think about Sherlock again… And that was when I started to cry myself. I did not know who to choose: Sherlock or sensei.

In the end, I agreed to the condition, but ran away before I could see what their reactions were, for I was crying too hard already.

Dream 2.
He smiled. Although it wasn’t a real smile—just half a smile, where his lips curled upward at one end…

But for me it was perfect.

He was smiling… as he was looking directly at me, with startlingly warm eyes.

As though he was finally acknowledging me. Reacting to me.

It was more than enough. For now.

I smiled back.

Doumeki Haruka (xxxHolic) is whom we should thank for the title. When I read the quote I did not understand it at first, but it only means that someone even when that part person is merely a dream, if you believe, love, and trust that person, and wish hard enough for him, he is bound to become reality.

Or it could also be that the person existing only inside a dream, if that person wishes for something, it could be realized.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

to a future that never ends.

“Let my heart praise the Lord.”

2009-08-08T22:09:00.007+08:00

Since writing a letter is something I find intimate, I might as well write one in my native tongue where I can express myself best. It is most sincere, spontaneous and personal that way.

Father . Almighty and Merciful. (Dahil dai ko po aram kung panu yan –Bicol, tsaka para po mas dakul na tao ang makagiromdom kayan. )

Hai, tapos nanaman po ang sarung semana. Dakulun ang nangyari… nakakapagal ngani po talaga. As in. hai.. Kaya ngani po ngunyan garu baga sige ko na sanang buntong hininga.. uya ulit po.. hai. Hehe.

Anyway po, maugma man po ang pagtapos kang semana, so mayung man pong hard feelings. Feeling ko ngani po dapat Ika pa po ang may mas karapatan na magka-hard feelings sako ta pasawayun po ako, pero dahil po aram ko man na maheherakun Ka po tsaka padangatun Mo po kaming maray kaya sigurado po napatawad Mo na po kami. Pasensya na po ulit sa mga kasalan mi. Mga pasaway po kaming mga aki Mo. Matatagas ang payu. Minsan ngani po nalilingawan mi na magpasalamat sa kabuotan Mo po pero. Kaya gagamiton ko na po ining pagkakataon na ini para magpasalamat po ning bonggang bongga.

Hehe. Lord, salamat po, ta buhay pa ako ngunyan. Ta tinatawan Mo pa po ako ning pagkakataon na pakarayun po si mga kapasawayan ko. Mabawi po ako Lord, sa makakaya ko, dawa na po aram kong maski anung guibuhon ko, dai ko po kayang pantayan—maski sisay man dai kayang pantayan—ang pagkamoot Mo samung mga aki Mo. Maski nalang po itong mismong pag-sakripisyo Mo po kang Saimung Aki para kami gabus iligtas, para gabus kami mapatawad—kaming mga dai man deserving kang Saimung pagpatwad—dai mi po iyan kayang pantayan. Pero itatao mi man po ang samuyang best para magibo mi ang misyon mi digdi, para dai man po masayang an Saindong pagpapatawad.

Diyan po, asin sa gabus pang dai ko na kayang pangaranan dahil kulang pa ang buong buhay ko para mapangaranan sinda gabus… salamat po.

Lalo na palan po sa pamilya ko. Sa mga kaklase tsaka barkada ko. Astig po sinda. Mayu na po akong mahahagad pa… pwera garu kay Sherlock-san. Hehe. Gusto ko kaya talaga ‘to. Crush man lang siguro, pero… hm… Ika lang po nakakaaram. Anyway, maski anu man po, salamat. Aram ko man po na iyo siguro po yan/ siya siguro po ang best na makakatabang sa pag-fulfill kang mission ko habang nasa daga pa ako. :D Arug po kang gabus na parte kang buhay ko, gusto ko po Ika na lang po magdecide, ta Ika po ang nakakaaram kang gabus.

Lord, sa gabus pong mga problema mi ngunyan. Sa pinansyal. Sa emosyonal. Sa espiritwal. Sa gabus po, aram ko pong yaon ka lang po dyan para i-guide kami sa pag-solve kang mga sadit na problemang ini. Ang hinahagad mi po na manudan mi ang mga bagay na gusto Mo pong itukdo samu sa paagi kayang mga yan. Salamat na din po, in advance.

Ini po Lord mga bagay na tinutubudan ko pong mangayayari dahil po minsan Mo na pong prinomise samu ang mga ini sa Saimo pong tataramun: Lord, ipapasa Mo po ako sa gabus pong subjects ko—with excellence, arug kang sabi ni Rovina. Bako lang po ako, Lord, kundi pati gabos na nagtutubod tsaka deserving. Sabi Mo po kaya samu, “Make the Lord your delight, and He will grant your heart’s desire.” Lord, i-c-claim ko sana po ang promise Mong yan. Tsaka po gusto ko po palan i-offer Saimu gabus pong grades ko. Gabus po. Para Saimu. Kaya po talagang nag-ho-hope, nagtutubod ako na halangkaw sinda ta dai ko man po gustong mag-offer po ning poor results. Dapat din po ang best para sa the best Father. Bako lang po yan. Sa gabus pong guibo mi, gusto ko po na tukduan Mo po kaming i-glorify ang Pangaran Mo po. Ina-acknowledge mi man po na Ika ang may tukdo samu gabus kani. Kung mayu Ka po, mayu man po kaming magiginibo. Saimu man lang po guiraray hale ang gabus. Kami mga instrumento lang.

Salamat po.
Salamat.

Tsaka Lablab po… (cozy), Lord.

Love lots,
Faye.

Although there are many more things I ought to tell the Father, I cannot anymore say it in my blog post. It has to be long… very, very long.

And to all the people who understood the post. I hope you share the same sentiments as I do. And to those who didn’t understand, it doesn’t matter. I love you and so does God.

-Father.

Three Bible verses are mentioned in the post:
Title: Psalm 9: 2.
* Verse in bold : Psalm 37: 4
Picture: Romans 8:31 - 32

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

to a future that never ends.

1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die

2009-08-05T13:55:00.005+08:00

From the book, 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die, which I flipped through while I was waiting bored in PowerBooks, I discovered that I still have 993 books which I must read before my inevitable demise.

And these were the books I have actually read before chancing upon the list:

Veronika Decides to Die by Paulo Coelho
The Devil and Miss Prym by Paulo Coelho
A Modest Proposal by Jonathan Swift
Interview with a Vampire by Anne Rice
The Catcher and the Rye by JD Salinger
The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
The Hound of Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
and another one whose title and author i forgot.

And a huge number of those books just actually sit at home, on our shelves, waiting for me to read them. I'm pretty sure Papa has read approximately about 400 of those books in the list.

Anyway, I'm making it a part of my life list to read at least 300 of the books in the list. So, currently, I am reading another book that belongs in the list: Franny and Zooey by JD Salinger.

Here is the list: Click me.

`Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam.

to a future that never ends.